Back from the Hospital (Week 25 Summary)

Hi all, I tried to post this earlier but couldn't get it to work. I wrote this Monday.

This will easily serve as my week 25 summary because every other occurrence within the pregnancy is easy overshadowed by the fact that I started bleeding Friday night and rushed to the hospital at 1:30am. I will not be cruel in my story telling though and so shall start by saying that the baby is fine, bleeding has stopped and I have joined the bed rest club.

When I arrived at the hospital we went to the ER and confirmed I was bleeding slightly and gave me clotting factor to stop it and used a doppler to check the baby, whose heart beat was a strong 145... Our little one kicked the doppler! Indeed the whole night our baby was kicking, being a good little one and assuring Mommy that while I wasn't sure what was going on at least I knew he/she was alive and strong. Then they called my ob and admitted me.  They sent me temporarily to L&D for fetal monitoring. Baby was fine, whatever was happening was thus far giving him/her no distress, there was a steady heartbeat between 145-149. They there gave me steroid shots for his/her lungs just in case, a shot to relax my uterus from any contractions and that rh factor shot because my blood type is negative.

Then they wheeled me to my room, not in L&D but in a more general part of the hospital. I go to the restroom and made the relieving discovery that they clotting factor worked and I am no longer bleeding. I gave a urine sample. They then hooked me up to an IV and gave me an antibiotic  then told me to sleep. We were put in a room around 3:30am (got to the hospital around 2am?)

In the morning I got sent for an ultrasound but not as soon as they said it would be... Luckily we had an ultrasound doctor, not a tech, (who wouldn't be allowed to give answers) so he told us that baby was fine, placenta was fine (that had been the leading theory, that there was a rupture or tear) but the cervix had a tiny build up of fluid and was opening up a tiny bit. Less than a centimeter. Probably from infection.

My ob came and consulted the ultrasound and put me on several IV antibiotics for the rest of my hospital stay, oral to take home, and ordered bed rest. I was kept for observation. That afternoon I got scared because there was some blood when I went to the bathroom, but no one else was concerned. Later it was explained to me the little bit of fluid on my cervix *was* blood, so they expected spotting like bleeding because it would come out, but not to be alarmed as long as it was tiny amounts.

I've gotten to hear the heartbeat a ton, between tons of dopplering, the fetal heart monitor and the ultrasound. Mainly been in the 140s, once in the 130s, twice in the 150s. Baby is *fine*. Basically no problem at all with him/her, just my infection and cervix. I'm thinking from my tiny bit open cervix I was about to or had just entered early labor and getting to the hospital when I did kept it from getting any worse.

I am to be on fairly strict bed rest for at least ten days. That's when I see my ob next. Basically only allowed to get up to use the rest room, bathe, and get food. And when I lay down we need to stick something under the mattress so my legs are are raised to take pressure off my cervix. I am thinking from what's implied I will be on bed rest for longer than 10 days, but maybe after that it will switch to a less strict "less than X amount of hours of activity" type? We'll see. But I am glad so far baby is basically unaffected and between the antibiotics and bed rest hopefully my body will stop any threat of not keeping our little one in as long as possible.

I was discharged after about 36 hours and am home now. While I in some ways have little at my disposal to do except be online I also am not allowed to sit at the computer desk, so right now am confined to my phone. Later we may derive a laying down way to access our desk top but only having my phone may mean blogging less, so be warned.

I am on a ton of antibiotics. I am relieved to be home. Prayers our little one stays in!

Defining Terms: A Series Introduction

The other day I felt compelled to start writing a post called "What is Sin?" Then about halfway through
I felt like "this isn't done. This is something I should ruminate more on before I publish. There is something here, but it's not ready yet." And so I deleted it.

Then today, in a round about way, I was looking at the subject of Christian modesty again. I don't think it's a subject I have ever blogged on before, but I've read many other Christian women's blog posts (and men's as well) on the subject and have had lively and interesting discussions with others about this subject. And as I was reading an article again I felt my heart drop reading some comments and thinking, "Gosh, when will we understand the definition of Biblical modesty?" I wondered if I should blog about this... and then I felt the spark of the connection between that and the sin post I'd discarded last week.

The sin post I was writing was not about like a list of sins or dos or don'ts, it was a reflection on recent conversations and things I'd read that revealed that many people don't really understand what sin is.

That is, for both sin and modesty there is a wordly definition/understanding, and then there is what the Bible means when it uses those term, and there's only a slight overlap. So sometimes when Christians use those terms, they are misunderstood. And often neither side understands there's a difference in definition, so they both argue at each other assuming they understand the other view when in fact there's a chasm of misunderstanding between them.

I realized I want, perhaps need, to do a series on this. Not because I'm some expert. I'm not. What I am is someone who has seriously misunderstood a lot of this stuff in the past! In fact one of the points I was making in my sin posts was I can actually remember when the lightbulb went off and I really understood the depth of how God defines sin and it changed my walk with Him. I think as Christians one way we don't "hide our light under bushels" is just by sharing the illuminations God shared with us, like a mirror reflecting the light that hits our surface out, spreading the light around. In that, I feel like I have a responsibility to share these revelations.

All that being said, I want to say before I start this series that I am not an expert. I won't say everything right. And I am positive I will probably miss some depth. That is, my definition of things might not be complete and all encompassing because I am writing from a limited perspective and understanding. However, my aim is not to limit the application of these definitions to my writing, but instead to expand or even deflect them from the worldly connotations that often even Christians don't realize they're thinking of these terms in. See, what happens is the world often assigns its own definitions to these terms and so non-believers come in not really understanding what you mean, but assuming they do... likewise often even when we're young Christians we learn from the world what these terms mean and so might even hear the teachings in the church in a skewed way, and then we get older spread that skewed message around unknowingly.

So many times you may have two Christians talking, one with a Biblical definition and one without and both assuming that they both have the Biblical understanding. Then when one of them says something that doesn't quite mesh with the other's understanding they assume the other's theology is whack. But instead it's often just the terminology, not the actual theology. I actually think that's 80% of the reason we have so many different denominations that when you fellowship with them are really earnestly in the Spirit. They are truly following God, but when they try to talk to other denominations their definitions for the same concepts are so off the mark they misunderstand each other and each label the other as wrong.

That's really complex stuff though, and I'm not sure I'll get into that in this series. I'm thinking I'll stick to some of the bigger, simpler stuff, such as sin/sinner and modesty. I'm praying over what else to do and I promise I won't publish a post until it's been prayed over and I feel prompting it's time to publish it. In that way I can't tell you if this series will take a few weeks or a few months or even a few years. But I am telling you I am approaching it and think God is calling me to write it!

Scripture Sunday, Week 7

This is the seventh part of an ongoing series going through 1 Thessalonians. The first part can be found here.

"In fact, when we were with you, we kept telling you that we would be persecuted. And it turned out that way, as you well know. For this reason, when I could stand it no longer, I sent to find out about your faith. I was afraid that in some way the tempter had tempted you and that our labors might have been in vain. But Timothy has just now come to us from you and has brought good news about your faith and love. He has told us that you always have pleasant memories of us and that you long to see us, just as we also long to see you. Therefore, brothers and sisters, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith. For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?"
- 1 Thessalonians 3:4-9

Okay so jumping right back into where we left off last week! "In fact, when we were with you, we kept telling you that we would be persecuted. And it turned out that way, as you well know." So yes, let's jump back into the fact that persecution should be expected and not take us by surprise... I admit though I'm not very good at expecting it myself. Often we get a "that's only for the Bible" or "that's only for people doing something incredible in far off lands" or "that's only for the really, really righteous; you're not so prideful as to think that's you, are you?" All of that is baloney. The truth of the matter is, if you really follow Christ it will come. This is not to make you feel bad if you're not facing persecution. Though you should ask yourself am I really following Christ? But if the answer is yes don't let anyone make you doubt it! If you are, and you're not facing it now, Paul is saying here it will come. So just know that something will happen and don't let it shake your faith. It will come.

"For this reason, when I could stand it no longer, I sent to find out about your faith. I was afraid that in some way the tempter had tempted you and that our labors might have been in vain." This shows that the persecutions test Christians' faith. I also admit I cringe when I read that the tempter tempting them might mean the apostles' labors were in vain. My heart thinks on times when I have given into temptation and prays that my failings are forgiven. But of course in other letters (and maybe later in this one?) hope is given to those who do stumble, that they should get up again and hope in Christ. Still Jesus himself talks about how some are like seeds in good soil and how others wither and die, and the truth is how can we know who is who? Paul is saying his fear was that if persecuted they would fall away (meaning their roots of faith were never deep enough to begin with)...

"But Timothy has just now come to us from you and has brought good news about your faith and love. He has told us that you always have pleasant memories of us and that you long to see us, just as we also long to see you." However, yay, the Thessalonians stay true to Christ! Timothy is bringing news of them and Paul is letting them know he's heard and been encouraged by Timothy's report and the tidings of the Thessalonians of friendship and love.

"Therefore, brothers and sisters, in all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith." I think this is important to note for you and I, when we face our own battles. Here Paul and Silvanus have been facing distress and persecution themselves and they're saying when they heard of how the Thessalonians also faced the same thing and stood firm, it encouraged them to persist as well. One way God has given us our brothers and sisters in Christ is so that we can encourage one another not only through direct ways (like coming to someone's aid or extending a loving bit of friendship, perhaps in the form of a letter like this one) but also in example. When we are struggling with the trials we face we can often learn from Christians who have gone there before us, or who are going through the same thing now. Or even who are facing worse, definitely showing us that if they can stand firm, so can we!

"For now we really live, since you are standing firm in the Lord. How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?" And this is the capstone of this week, reflecting on the relationship believers can have with each other. Deep enough love that it can cause us to "really live" when we see our brethren really living for Christ. Deep enough love that our hearts overflow with gratitude to God because of the joy knowing them can bring to our hearts.

24 Week Summary

(Note: I intend to get Scripture Sunday up as well, our weekend was unusual. Not only was it framed by Valentine's Day and my birthday, Ryan was having a schedule change in the middle of it and everything was thrown off. Catching up now.)

Wow as I write this I am 25 weeks and about to summarize week 24 for you! Crazy how far along that seems...

I'm trying to think of what's new and really I can't. Except feeling the baby higher and stronger, everything is basically the same as last week. Oh, I keep craving chai (tea)! That's a new one. And of course you're not supposed to have a lot of caffeine so I've tried to temper that.

Otherwise things are just progressing. Got Ryan to talk about girl's names and we're *almost* there. As I said last week, we've already gotten a boy's name. We're pretty sure we have the female first name, are working on the middle...

Sadly I logicked through it and realized that I can't tell you the baby's name. So I have to come up with another one for the blog. Why? Well, when I announced I was writing a book I switched my pseudonym of SingingPilgrim for my real name as it seemed silly to hide it as soon you'd see it on my ebook. So consequently if I share our baby's first name with you you'll know their full name and that doesn't quite seem responsible. So like many bloggers I'm going to have to nickname my child on the blog. Not sure what I will call him/her yet but that's another name to pick out! I may not pick it out until the little one is here, so I can know gender and personality and such... we'll see.

This week has been quite busy, but more of life stuff than of baby stuff so I really don't have anything more to update you on for this post. Lazy me didn't even take a bump photo!

Valentine's Day is Mainly for Married People

This is our first married Valentine's Day!

I've always loved Valentine's day because it comes right before my birthday and you usually get candy. Score. I am totally for cardboard hearts filled with chocolates and cherry heart shaped lolly pops and all the other sweet confections that generally goes with this day. My normal tradition has been to watch a chick flick and pig out on candy. Go ahead and copy me if you need a tradition, it's an awesome one I've had for years and never felt bad about.

But I have always thought that the real romance behind Valentine's day really should be about marriage.

Yes, I do think somewhere around the Victorian era I believe the greeting card companies or whatever equivalency existed in that day and age did revive it and make a big to-do but it's really the day on the ancient church calender to celebrate St. Valentine.

So what did he do that makes him so saintly? Well first of all he a priest who was imprisoned and killed for his faith like most saints, as martyrdom is a big way to get a "St" in front of your name. He was executed on February 14th actually, hence why that's become St. Valentine's Day. This was approximately 270 AD.

But also he married people. That's where the romance part of it comes in. It's not about dating or crushing or any of that.

It's unclear historically, doing some research, whether or not he was marrying soldiers who wanted to marry but were told not to (what I was told growing up) or now I'm reading if it was just he was marrying Christian couples who he was forbidden to help under draconian persecution laws. But regardless, one of his crimes was performing marriages that they thought he shouldn't be performing.


Why would you perform illegal marriages? Well because marriage is holy and while I do think God wants us to generally follow the laws of the land when the law of the land violates the laws of God obviously we are to follow God. And so if marriage is being forbidden, this priest in obedience to His God who values marriage put marriage and his faith before his own safety.

So Valentine's Day is, at least in its origin, about two things: Jesus and marriage. When it comes to romance so I feel like it is really for the married, or at least the engaged. Am I saying you shouldn't have a Valentine's celebration if you're not all hitched up? Nah, not at all. As I said I totally have always liked Valentine's day. But I am saying it in the spirit of "Go ahead and have a Christmas tree, but don't forget Jesus!" And remember we all have a divine romance with Jesus!

I would of course agree that I am saying though is that it does seem very wrong when you see society "celebrating" Valentine's day by urging "hook-ups", trying to make the lonely feel small, and the same people who say "marriage is an outdated institution" are dressing up in pink and giving hearts and roses. Le sigh. But that's the whole "the world" thing that always takes things of God and corrupts it anyway.

This is my first Valentine's day as a married woman, and as I said it's always been one of my favorite holidays. Actually last year was the very first Valentine's day I ever have been able to celebrate in person as part of a couple. Most of my dating has been long distance in my life, and most years I was single anyway. Honestly though, we didn't really do much as I think Ryan could have cared less.

This year I think we're going to stay home and play Fable 3, watch some yet to be decided on but hopefully romantic movie, and eat chocolates. If we do anything fancier I'll be surprised. But I'll be doing it happily as a married woman with her husband, knowing that I get to see a side of the real meaning of Valentine's day I've never experienced before!

Thankful Thursday

We've had a wonderful week! So it's really easy to be thankful about it. So this is the time in my week I

take on the blog to thank God for just a few things I have to be grateful for that He's given me.

I am thankful for wonderful times with Ryan and for our marriage. It's been great talking with and enjoying him this week. We've been really having a good time and I am so blessed to be his wife.

I am thankful for my in-laws, both Ryan's parents and I've also recently gotten to know a "grand-aunt" (in America that'd be great-aunt) of his recently.

I'm thankful for the sun drying the laundry quickly this week. Lately with the winter fog if I stay on top of it I'm averaging 1 to 1 1/2 loads a day. And if nothing goes wrong we generate probably 1 load a day what with all the winter layers... and with pigeons pooping on drying clothes and linens needing to be added and running out of water (we've a limited supply each day and the city doesn't always give us the same amount) and such I've been struggling. But suddenly it's "spring" and yesterday I got like four loads done and three of those dried and put away... and in the morning the fourth was dry! (This is amazing because normally the fog rolls in overnight and re-wets anything still hanging out.) I've got one load in (it's Thursday morning for me) and I think just one more to go and if the sun cooperates like yesterday I'll be all caught up before it rains tomorrow and Saturday. Yay!

I'm thankful for the kittens being good for the most part this week. Of course before they were playing tag in the kitchen and toppled all my spice bottles even though I had warned them to calm down before it got that far... sigh... but nothing broke (though it *could* have) and no harm done and really that's probably the worst thing they've done this week, so WIN!

I'm thankful for some exciting stuff going down I'll share with you later. ;)

I'm thankful for the simple pleasures like a cup of chai and just being near Ryan. I'm thankful for getting time with God and I'm thankful for finally feeling a bit like I'm adjusting to life here in India.

23 Week Summary

Okay, the baby is definitely bigger this week!

23 weeks, 5 days
Ignore my hair, I was fresh from the shower.

Ryan and I spent some time gazing at my bump earlier. It's large enough not to ignore. That is, I still am not sure it's large enough for strangers to know, especially as I typically am wearing a coat as we go out lately. But at home with Ryan? It can't be ignored!

Baby was a little less rambunctious this week. Still kicked and moved every day, but didn't have a day of "I just can't stop wiggling!" like last week and the week before had. I did have a time on Saturday though where I was in bed and I turned over and apparently the baby either did or didn't like that and was kicking every five seconds for the next two minutes while I smiled. But mainly it's been more like a kick an hour or so, on average.

However, this is the week Ryan felt the baby for the first time! I had just changed positions in bed and the baby apparently didn't like being flipped on his/her head and was trying to wiggle around and I grabbed Ryan's hand and got him to feel the baby's adjustment.

While the kicks don't seem as frequent, they are stronger. And they are "well placed." I've been kicked in the stomach for the first time this week! Luckily the baby isn't so strong that did anything yet, but I remember my mom telling me when she was pregnant with me every time she ate I'd kick it back up into her throat, probably saying "Hey, there's not enough room in this abdominal cavity!" Hopefully baby doesn't take after Mommy in that! I'm also getting kicked in a sensitive lower area, though again it's not strong enough to hurt. I've had my bladder danced on for a few weeks now, but the baby is obviously getting stronger on that one.

I got excited to see 23 weeks because this is the first week they have survival statistics for preemies. It's only 17%, but prior to this the survival rates were so low as to not be statistically measurable (the youngest surviving baby being born at 21 weeks 6 days) but now and with drastic increases each week the baby's got at least a chance should anything go wrong. Not that I think something will go wrong, everything so far has been good.

I've had a few other pregnancy "milestones" this week. First appearance of colostrum, and first "heart burn"... I'm hoping against that last one actually. What happened was I was cleaning the bathroom floor and I felt the acid in my throat. I haven't gotten heart burn yet, but I know it's caused by that and I'm thinking oh darn. I've had pretty much every other pregnancy symptom there is, so I was hoping I was luckily enough to avoid the heartburn... we'll see... as I said it wasn't full blown heartburn yet.

here's my little baby, 22 weeks. (For those ultrasound impaired,
he or she is lying on their back and this is from the side.)

I think that's pretty much this week. We got to get the ultrasound pictures from 22 weeks finally, BUT enclosed with it was a CD-Rom with photos and/or videos on it; I don't know because I haven't seen it. We don't have a CD-Rom drive working and we tried it on my father-in-law's laptop but it wouldn't recognize it. When Ryan asked his dad for help his dad said to blow on the lense (sadly did nothing) but I'm guessing that means it's probably the drive, not the disk. Still the medical report side of the ultrasound had a few photos, including this one profile. (The rest are like stomach, kidneys, brain, etc.) So I can share that for now!