Giving Thanks

Happy Late Thanksgiving Blog World!

I hope all of you had lovely holidays. My sister came home from college Tuesday night. It was just her, my parents, and I for Thanksgiving. She's spent yesterday and today with her boyfriend.

Yesterday we had a lovely Bible study. We all brought our leftovers and had our own Thanksgiving. Then we feasted on the Word! We went around and shared Bible verses... it was good.

Tomorrow I'm going to church with Lydia again. She's going to CA in February, and we've decided to spend every Sunday between now and then together. We're sticking to Spartanburg. We're going to go to a random service at 9, then to my church! She's come to Wednesday night services with me twice, but this will be her first Sunday going to my church.

Let us all thank the Lord for all He's given us, most especially His Son!
"Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ His Son
And now let the weak say 'I am strong'
Let the poor say 'I am rich'
Because of what the Lord has done for us!
Give Thanks!"

Rocky Ground

"Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for You are my praise."

Jeremiah 17:14 (NASB)

This is the scripture of the day on my blog when I came to post. It fits, as these always seem to do! It fits because I was just marveling with the Truth of God's timing. See, He's not bound by time. And He hears all prayers. Sometimes I pray and when what I was praying for doesn't come to pass in what I think is a reasonable time I think I must have been praying for the wrong thing, that it wasn't God's will. But then I realize that God is apart from time. Prayers I prayed when I was 12 may not be answered until I'm 80! And that's reasonable in God's eyes. And this is a joyous thing, because it makes me realize that the praying, not watching for the results is my responsibility.

Now, selfish prayer is not great. Now, just like anyone I'll pray for things I want: money, a paying job, nice clothes, a car, whatever. But I try to always pray with the understanding that that's a wishlist. But when I pray for others, it's different. Or when I pray for the ending of a sin in my life. But God always hears. He always answers, even though often not in the way we expect.

I've had some people in my life lately who seem to order God around. They say "Deliver me from my debt!" and then travail for hours, expecting God to deliver them. If I suggest that maybe there is a purpose for the debt, they get shocked and act like I am ignorant. But I think it's a question of timing maybe. I do think God wants us to not be in debt, in principle. But sometimes it's needed, for humility. To help us relate to others in dire debt maybe. To keep us from buying a house we weren't supposed to, or applying for a loan in a doomed to fail venture. How can you know?

But what we do know is this: that our lives will unfold for our good, if we love our God. But our motivation needs to be our love for Him, not our own good. It's the "he who seeks to save his life will lose it, but he who loses it will save it" thing. If we seek to live our lives for ourselves, it we say "I believe in Jesus because I don't want to go to hell" or something like that, then we're not in balance. Now, don't get me wrong. I think that has often been a valid reason for people to come to the Lord. But it's not a reason to abide in Him. If you don't then begin to live for Him, then you're one of the seeds that is snatched away by the birds. You received it, but it was snatched away because the soil was rocky.

The thing about rocky soil though, is it can be tilled. And I believe that prayer comes and tills hearts so that the seed can be recieved. And so I pray for you, and love you.

I love you.

Amen.

Where I am

I want to tell my blog about my life, but then I remember people can read this. :) God has put me in the place I am right now for a reason. I think I may have figured it out, and now I feel the time is critical. I have to trust in His guidance for me, that His power will overcome my stupidity and weakness.

I love the daily scripture on my page. Today's is: "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?...And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?"

Matthew 6:25, 6:27 (NASB)

What a comfort and a joy.

Spasdic blog

I blog like I live. In spasdic spurts, but with the hope that as I persist I will become more consistant.

I am feeling very attacked at the moment, in the Spirit sense. My parents are playing RockBand2 in the room. The music is just awful. Not musically, but the way they grip my mind and try to invade. I wake with the songs in my ears after a night of sleeping. They are invasive and they just GET to me. My parents got RockBand2, and shortly after RockBand and Guitar Hero: World Tour this past January. Shortly after they got it, God convicted me against playing with them because of the affect of the music on my mind. My mother just doesn't get it. I tried to explain it to her, and she'll just say "Okay... well, this song isn't too bad. Well, yeah, it talks about sex, but it's rock and roll!" or whatever. And the sad truth is I'm not sure that she doesn't get how they grip and infect my mind, but more than she enjoys that effect.Still, I am in the room while they are playing it because I don't know where else to go.

Lately has been wonderful and not. I need to rewind back to 11/6, had Bible study. Very good. Then on Saturday, 11/7, I went and spent the night at Lydia's house, so we could leave early in the morning to go to Charlotte. We're both friends with the Vangnes family, three of whom were in a car accident. The one most injured, Jeremy, is in a hospital in Charlotte. He had been in a hospital in Spartanburg and I didn't get to go see him, then he was transferred to Charlotte. So I had asked Lydia that if she planned on going to Charlotte to let me know, so I could see him.

So she was planning to go up there on a Sunday and texts me at 1am on Friday night to tell me. I respond the next day and say that's fine. So I spend the night on Saturday so we can leave early in the morning. After I'm there, she tells me we're first going to church in Charlotte in the morning. The non-denominational Christian group she was raised in were having a conference in Charlotte. The Sunday meeting was the capstone of the experience before everyone dispersed. She didn't go to the conference in general, but wanted to be there Sunday.

It was wonderful. There is no local church of her tradition in Spartanburg, and even though she and I have been friends since 2004, I'd never been to any event with her church background. So I was excited and up for it. It was great and I loved it. It was funny, actually, seeing all these hints of what she'd told me about them come together in a big picture. For example, it had come up in the past that her church said "Amen" a lot. But I assumed it was the shouting, waving your hands at the ceiling, giant southern revival tent way. But instead it was more quiet, but still very frequent. People would say Amen sometimes where I didn't think an Amen was appropriate. "Amen" means "So be it" and sometimes someone would say something to which "So be it" didn't make sense. So I started saying "Alleluia" instead, which means "Praise God" and is ALWAYS appropriate. ;)

It was many little things like that, coming together so I got a far more coherent picture of the way my dear, dear sister in Christ was raised. And I found it primarily healthy and in Christ. She seemed nervous about how I'd interact with people, but I could recognize that that which is in me is in them (the Spirit of the Lord) and felt at ease and delighted for the most part.I met a few people I'd heard Lydia mention and I finally got to put faces with names at the lunch after the meeting. It was awesome.

We left the church and went to the hospital and visited Jeremy. We got lost. Actually, we'd gotten turned around getting to the church too, and had gotten pulled over by a cop at one point. lol. We always have adventures even in the simple things like navigating when we're together! (No tickets were issued) Lydia brought her guitar and we sang praise and worship songs to Jeremy, who was present, but unable to really communicate with us.

Mural in Charlotte I took a picture of on the trip

It was the first time I have gotten to see him since prior to the accident. My friend had seen him when he was in Spartanburg, and she says he looks much more relaxed. We sang to him and prayed and read scripture. He clearly recognized us, making eye contact and trying to communicate, but wasn't able to. We talked with his roommate and family, and found he had come to Christ the week before. :) It was wonderful meeting a new brother.

Building with cool lighting I took a picture of as we left Charlotte.

On the way back, Lydia was tired and we were both hungry so we tried to stop for a meal and caffeine. Of course, it couldn't be simple, and it took us like 45 minutes to get to a Burger King. :)

I was in a great God place. At that Sunday meeting, God had worked on me and my pride, humbling me in a gentle and necessary way. (But it's still hard). But I felt reinvigorated for Christ, alive for Him, like nothing was too much. Which, of course, is Truth.

But the week wore on and I fell once more into sinful habits! Oh how my evil mind plagues me! I am so depraved. I also was at a loss to know what to do when my friend I go walking with, her marriage is once again deteriorating, but this time it seems even more serious. I would never wish to council someone to end their marriage, and yet his infidelity... anyway. By Friday, I felt once more listless and out of it. But I went to Bible study and was once again ministered to through the gentle fellowship I find there. But today... I'm drooping again.

Tomorrow I am supposed to go once more with my friend to church, this time in Simpsonville. I can't get ahold of my friend to have the exact time for the morning that she expects to pick me up. Afterwards, I may meet up with my friend with the troubled marriage.

I'd appreciate prayers. My endurance is bleehhhh. lol. Thanks.

Yawwwwnn.....

I'm at Lydia's house. We're going to Charlotte in the morning. She's in bed and I'm in her living room with her laptop. I'm startign to drift though, and should be heading to bed. I went to bed at a reasonable hour last night and got up at a reasonable hour this morning, which is good because I'll have to leave the house by seven thirty tomorrow morning. Blech. lol.

But I have a crop to harvest in Farmville. And I want to see if I can talk to "Jim"... so I'll try to stay up a little longer... but I need to go to bed soon or I might fall asleep on the couch with the laptop and it'd fall and break and my friend would be very, very mad... lol.

God is good. I want to hug all of you, except I'm too tired. lol.

Sleep well...

My Exceeding Joy

And I will go to the altar of God
To God, my exceeding joy,
And I will praise you,
I will praise you with the harp,
Oh God, my God,
My exceeding joy.

Psalm 43:4
A few weeks ago Lydia and I made up a tune to this verse. We've been singing it at Bible Study. Last night we had Bible study, and hence, it's stuck in my head. :) I'd share the tune, but right now I don't have the means to do it.

Last week Bible study was cancelled because the woman who hosted it was sick. It was really nice to go last night. My spirit feels refreshed.

The test siren is blaring, as it is one pm on the first Saturday of the month. The dogs aren't howling, which is nice. Sirens really aren't bad noises, if they're not very close. Kind of like howling wind, it's a cool noise.

HAHAHA... aww, poor baby. We threw out our old broken couch, finally, a few weeks ago. It had been pushed against the large window in our living room. Now the area in front of that is blank. Sophie used to leap up on the couch and look out the window... Well, she just leapt up to do so, on the window sill! Which of course, isn't really wide enough for a terrier to perch on (since they don't have the grace of a cat) and so she fell. She's fine. But it was amusing. I think she was trying to see what all that noise was about.
The siren has stopped and Sophie's now perched in my lap.

A photo of Sophie looking out the window from her couch perch

I got to catch up with a dear friend, Sarah, last night. She got married in August and moved to New York and I've not gotten to talk with her on the phone since prior to her wedding. We didn't talk very long, about forty minutes, but we said we'd try to talk again this weekend as we have plenty more to discuss. She's a dear Christian sister with unique insights and is precious to my soul. Whenever she and I talk alone, and sometimes with others, the discussion is distinctly of a high spiritual nature. She and I were divinely meant to be friends, and I adore her. I feel more peaceful and happy just from talking to her yesterday.
Well, not just from talking to her. Combining talking to her with Bible study and I feel very plugged in.
I am uncertain if I shall leave tonight or tomorrow, but I should be going to Charlotte on Sunday. When I say "leave" I mean leave my home. A friend of mine is going, but she lives in Spartanburg and doesn't want to pick me up. So I have to get to her. So I'm not sure yet if I'm going to go spend the night at her house or rendezvous in the morning. But we will be visiting Jeremy Vangsnes. :)
I'm having a scifi-riffic morning. I watched three episodes of Star Trek Next Generation and then one episode of Star Trek Enterprise and now I'm starting an episode of Doctor Who. :) I'm a huge sci-fi/fantasy fan.

God is amazing. I began the morning singing His praises. An excellent way to wake up! I believe after this episode of Doctor Who I shall go outside, visit cats and Jesus. :)

God bless you all!

Not a Great Day. Pray for me.

I'm tired.

It has not been the best day ever... at all. lol.

I woke up and my Mom comments I don't look good, that I'm a funny color.

Then I take the dogs outside to do their business and I notice Radar is limping. I try to check it out, but see nothing amiss.

That's a picture of Radar

I played online and then was planning on visiting the kittens, but I start feeling wave after wave of heat, then start sweating so I think "I just broke a fever". I go and have my mom feel me and she says I feel cold. So I'm not sure. You do cool down when you break a fever, of course, but it's a slow cool down.

So I get Devlin and lie down and cuddle. That was good. Sophie joined me and we all got along. Very good.

Then Tabitha calls. We were supposed to hang out today. I tell her I'm feeling a little off, but I'd still like to hang out so she says cool, she'll be there in about an hour.

And so I get ready and wait... and wait.. and call.. and text... and wait. Her phone acts up sometimes, so I both called and texted and left a voicemail. Two hours later, I call her house. She also lives with her parents, and is married. Her parents tell me she and her husband are gone. Before, I'd overheard in the background my friend's husband saying he'd be asleep with the dogs, so I know plans must have changed for him to have left. This makes me relax a little, since it means she probably wasn't in an accident.

So a little while later my Dad decides to go to Costco and I go with him. I try one more time before I left to reach my friends, but she doesn't answer.

It was a good trip out. We picked up a book we've been wanting, got snacks, got gyros for dinner, and kitten chow, amongst other things.

We get back and Radar's paw is oozing and infected. Apparently there was a cut I missed. He's limping worse than ever.

And I hear about Fort Hood. :( My cousin died in Virginia Tech, so I empathize immensely.
We eat dinner and watch tv. When the news comes on, and I hear more details, I am nauseous with empathy. It gives me a headache.

Meanwhile, I've still never heard from Tabitha, but I get online, and she was on playing Farmville! Obviously there was no emergency. She does this a lot, but usually there's a good reason. And maybe there is this time too, I don't want to get mad in case there is, but at the same time she never has the decency or consideration to call me! Or even pick up the phone and say "Hey, me and my husband decided to do X so I can't come" or "So and so called and I have to do X" or even "My husband decided to do X so I went to drop him off first and the car broke down" or whatever it is.

But obviously she has no respect for me or my time. And more than anything else, it just hurts my feelings.

And then I get online and I talk to "Jim" and he's in B&N reading a book and I comment that I dislike the title and he just goes on and on about how I shouldn't judge and it's wonderful and is all defensive and I feel snapped at. Then he said he has to go home and maybe he'll talk but he feels like he needs to be with God right now. Which is great and all, but he prays all the time and he feels talking to me for half an hour will keep him from God? :( He said he might make it, but he hasn't so far... maybe he still will though, he's probably not in bed yet, since CA is three hours behind.

So that's my long day. Oh, plus I tried to call lots of friends and none of them picked up and it's "that time of the month".

But on a good note, I adore cats! And Devlin is a snuggly lovebug! And the little black kitten loves me and comes out to play whenever I go to see them.

The little black kitten

Please pray for me. Pray I have the power to forgive my friend. Pray I feel better. And PRAY FOR THE FAMILIES AFFECTED IN THE FORT HOOD SHOOTING!!
Thank you.

BIG GIANT GRIN!

So much joy!
Today I just... plugged in better. And I realized something miraculous. I've been feeling stunted by my surroundings, finding it hard to know how to live a godly life. But I just woke up and realized a tool for His work I had right in front of me. I feel a divine peace, a quiet bubbly joy. :)

And all from an unsettling email I got. Well no, it's all from God, but I received this email, responded the best Christian and entirely sincere way I knew how, but it was still bothering me. So I prayed and... I was just released and like a flower's blossom, I felt my awareness open to the lovely possibilities around me.

I just hope God's love reaches down and touches you today! I love you! Oh, God's love is incredible! It really is all about Him.

JOY JOY JOY JOY JOY JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smiling with My Eyes Closed

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

Psalm 27:14 (NIV)

Such encouragement. I'm so totally in a waiting place. (I think I may always be in a waiting place lol). This is the verse of the day over in the "Scripture" section off to the side.

I am smiling with my eyes closed. I have been up on a stay up all night and sleep all day stint. It happens. So I'm tired and yet cheerful and social and want to go do stuff. Me and the friend of mine who I go walking with might hang out today and I'd love to hang out with her. But at the same time, I'm on the edge of consciousness. But there is this lovely little thing called caffeine.

When I was younger I wrote a song about God, titled "What Guides Me when my eyes are closed". It's not great.. but maybe I'll revisit it and polish it... hmm. It's a thought.

The sun is shining and it's a glorious day to be alive. :)

You know, I think I may go visit the kittens.
God bless you all, and wait on the Lord.

Self discipline only comes through His grace

I have been seeking self-discipline.
I hate being disciplined. Sigh. But I'm trying to like it.

A friend of mine who I confess I don't always find so wise, she said something that made me pause. She emphasized how we need God's power for self discipline and I realized that while I've been praying for self discipline, in my heart I was still thinking of it as SELF discipline, meaning, that the power to do it would come from me.

Which is so not true, of course. I've got the power to accomplish absolutely zilch on my own. I need to rely on Christ in EVEYTHING, and even though I have been praying for this, I hadn't really been relying on him.

This was a total wake up call that I needed. It's not a huge one, but it's a very needed one. Timely. :)

Isn't it awesome how He works?

Hello, November

I'm so ridiculously silly.
Life is interesting. Extremely so.

I don't even know what to say, but I want to blog.

Hello, November.