Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Some exerpts from my 'God book'

These are in no real particular order... mainly because I don't journal in any particular order. I just open the God book and jot stuff down on any empty page.

When I am weak, you are strong
You are always right! I am often wrong
In my grief my brokenness revealed
I am lost, tossed by the force of what I feel
In Your arms I beat my fists against your chest
Lashing out at who I love best
I am severed, incomplete inside of me
Thank you for holding on and being beyond me

I praise the God who gives and takes away
You lift me up and wipe my tears away
I miss the past but I cannot leave today
Not on my own, anyway

You're all I have, but I know you're everything
My sorrows deep, but my joyous heart can sing
I do not understand, and its too hard to try
I'd rather laugh and sit then to fall and cry
It seems my life, it is a life of grief
I am so aware someday I shall leave
I smile and everyone nods, relieved that I am fine
But lonely is my heart, after all have turned aside
You alone, my God, abide.

Lydia is speaking at Bible Study on God as the fuel.
Duh! I've felt yucky & foolish & failing b/c I'm hungry. Sometimes I get stupid & clumsy & irritated-- & I'm hungry. I've gotten like that spiritually.

"I know, LORD, that our lives are not our own.
We are not able to plan our own course.
So correct me, LORD, but please be gentle."
Jeremiah 10:23-24

It is not I that map my life, but He--and yet, He made & designed me for a purpose, so when I am in line with His plan, I am vibrantly me as never I could choose.

I am not diamond
I am not steel
I do break and I do splinter and I do feel
Pain's companion, I gasp with grief
Yet joy is so abundant, you are unending peace
For I am no one indestructible
Independent & strong-- that is not me
I rely utterly on You who bind my wounds
You gird me Your strength for I am weak

Listen quietly. Cultivate silence.
Do not be too ready to do, just be.
Never think things overwhelming. How can they be when Jesus is with you?
Do not feel the strain of life.

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