Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Boys versus Girls

Well, sort of.

Tabitha finds out the gender of her baby tomorrow!!!! I am so excited. Sometimes I wonder if I have the right to be so excited about somebody else's baby. The whole like month after she found out she was pregnant, I had this bouncy glow inside whenever I thought of it.

For the last two weeks there's been a countdown in my head about when Tabby gets to find out. Tabby has been hilarious about this whole gender thing. At first, she was neutral. She said she didn't really care, though she was curious. She put her hand lovingly on her baby bump and said she never prayed about the gender, since she knew it was already decided, and she would be fine either way. There was a slight leaning towards boy, but mainly because it was her husband's preference, and because she thinks an older brother might be cool (since she hopes to have two children, this being her first.) She is the older sister, with a younger brother, and they're not that close.

Then suddnely, she was deadset she wanted a boy. A lot of this had to do (and she admitted it to me at the time) with the fact that her husband was dumbfounded she was pregnant, and he was a little more happy with the idea of a son than a daughter. But also, Tabby loves little boys. Her face lights up when she sees them (for years before this) and so that wasn't that surprising.

Then like a month and a week or so ago a change happened. She suddenly told me she looked at all the boy stuff and it was ugly and all the girl stuff was SOOO CUTE!!! We went out during this time period and looking at the baby section of Walmart, she just utterly rejected ALL the boy stuff. I tried to show her a few little cute boy outfits for newborns and she just huffed at them. She said she didn't want a boy anymore. She'd be okay if she had one, and Jeremy (her husband) still wanted one, but she really wanted a girl. She said she had a definite feeling it was a girl, her first feeling either way. Trying to articulate this she said, 'Well, if it's a boy...,' she paused and grimaced, then cried out, 'It HAS to be a girl! I want a girl!!!'

Then she changed again. About three weeks ago, she said she realized she was totally okay with either gender. That she'd find out soon enough, so there was no reason to speculate. That Jeremy still wanted a boy so bad, but she also thinks he'd be fine with a girl and that a girl would be good for him. A friend of theirs said she thinks Jeremy NEEDs a girl. So either way, it would be good for everyone. She was very calm.

Then, last week, she was back to boy camp. We went to Babies R Us, and she didn't want to look at the girl stuff at all. She said she was having a very strong feeling it's a boy, so there was no reason to even look at the girl stuff, she was certain it's a boy. It had to be a boy. We talked about decorating the nursery for a boy, looked at boy crib sets, but she refused to look at girl's. She showed me the car seat, play pen, and stroller she wanted and said she was okay with it in the girl's pattern if necessary, but touched and gazed and loved on the boy's ones. In the clothing, we looked all through the boy stuff, her drooling, and then she said, 'Well, I guess I can look at the girl stuff,' but then pronounced most of it ugly.

So she's been really hilarious.

On the flip side, her husband has been steadily wanting a boy the whole time. Well, at first he wasn't even sure he wanted a kid (not that he was saying they'd give the kid up, just he was in shock). Then he got excited about a boy, but he's never gotten excited about a girl. He has a few times said a girl would be okay, but never that he wouldn't rather have a boy. But I also think Tabby's friend is right. A girl would be good for him. Jeremy doesn't really have a 'soft' side, and a girl would bring it out in him. She would inspire him to be a better man, to be loving and protective, to care. Admittedly, a baby of either gender would do this a little, but once a boy starts being a boy and not a baby, that might fade away. A girl would nurture this side of Jeremy, which I think would not only help him become a man, but would aid his and Tabitha's relationship. As he learns to understand his daughter, it'd help him understand females in general.

Tabby wants two kids though. But she only wants two. Jeremy, I'm not sure he wants a second kid. Of course he's gone back and forth their entire relationship about whether he wants kids at all (every six months or so he changed his mind) and he really is excited now. He's eager to be a dad.

And Tabby really wants both (obviously) she's just not sure which one she wants first. And to me, her flip flopping means that whichever way it goes, she'll be happy. So then I think of Jeremy, and what the second kid will be...

If it's a boy, then Jeremy will be very happy. Maybe bonding with his son will convince him that he wants a second kid. Though, having gotten his son, maybe he won't have the urge for a second. And seeing the exhaustion and expense, maybe he'll say 'one's enough.' But, he didn't decide it was kid time this go round, so maybe he won't get a say next one either.

If it's a girl, then Jeremy will expand his horizons. He's not the kind of guy who usually volunteers for stuff that changes his life, so that could be good for him. And if he's not gotten his son, he could be more onboard for having another kid whenever Tabby says she thinks it's time.

Either way, it'll be awesome though. And like Tabby said originally, it's already decided and has been for twenty weeks. Tabby's never given anyone but God the credit, and the amazing part, when you take the time to pause, is that this baby was handpicked by the Creator of the universe, our Savior, Beloved, and Best Friend, to be Tabby and Jeremy's child. There's no going wrong. Boy or girl, this baby is blessed and wonderful. And Tabby and Jeremy will be blessed all the more for having him or her. They find out which in like twelve hours!!!

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