Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope yours was really good!

My younger sister Alison and her fiance, Brad, came over and the five of us had Thanksgiving. Ali's birthday was Tuesday, so we celebrated her birthday. I made her a scarf and Mom and Dad got her a Kinect. We played it while Mom made most of the meal. Alison had made a dessert at home and brought it, and I made the mashed potatoes. Everything else was Mom.

We had turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes (that I made), sweet potatoes (that Mom grew!), green beans, corn, creamed corn, cranberry sauce, stuffing, rolls (that Mom made from scratch), pumpkin pie, seven layer bars, and pineapple upside down cake... yum! Well, okay, I don't eat cranberry sauce or creamed corn but the rest was yum.

Ali and Brad went to his family's house about an hour after dinner (they live in Boiling Springs) and are spending the night there. They and the extended clan (they had over thirty people for Thanksgiving there) are going to pick and chop down a Christmas tree tomorrow. Then Saturday we're all going to see Harry Potter 7.1. Then Ali, Brad, and I will head to Florence, where Ali lives. Brad and his roommate, whose family is in Florence, drove up there together, so he'll reunite with his roommate and they'll go back to Tallahassee, where Brad lives. Brad and Ali are both students. Brad is a grad student and Ali is in undergrad.

Once in Florence, I'll be staying with Alison for a week. It should be a lot of fun. For one, she has high speed internet! I'm also going to see a planetarium show, attend a Christmas party, and go wedding dress shopping for one of Ali's friends. Alison is engaged too, but we actually already found her dress. We didn't think we'd find anything she could afford, but for fun Mom, Ali, and I went to a bridal salon the week after Brad finally popped the question... and Alison actually found one she loves, like absolutely adores, in her price range. It was awesome. She's not bought it yet though, since they don't have a date but for sure aren't getting married for over a year, and possibly like three (depending on where Ali gets into grad school).

Happy Thanksgiving! I love you!

A Little Note

I am alone.

But that's okay! :) My parents are out (Costco, and picking up something for dinner). Tabby and I could have hung out today, but unfortunately I didn't get her text saying 'what are you doing?' for hours. But that's okay. I just talked to her and she's tired.

What's really making me sad though, is Bible Study is canceled tomorrow. That always bums me out. I hate missing Bible Study. I also don't have a ride yet for next week! The couple that normally gives me a ride will be out of town. And the next week, I'll be in Florence visiting with my younger sister Alison. Which is awesome, but I really don't want three weeks of no Bible Study.

Still, God's in control and it will all work out.... Okay, I think that's all I have to say! Maybe this wasn't worth a blog entry, but ah well. I'm alone, so this blog gives me someone to talk to...

Mainly About Hypothetical Babies

So Tabby's having a boy! I am very excited for her. (I'd have been excited for her either way. Both boys and girls are nice!) It does seem weird because of the over a dozen pregnant women I know, I only know of two that are having girls! But some I don't know what they're having, and my younger sister and boyfriend both say they know pregnant women who are mainly having girls, so I guess it all balances out.

Personally, I want girls. I actually want like four or five kids. I'm one of three, and I think a slightly larger family would be awesome. I want to adopt one to three of those, I think. And I don't really want more than two boys. Boys are NUTS! They're cute and sweet and all, it's not that I don't think they're great. But they are always running around, they don't think before they act, they are more immature (scientific fact), and as a woman with only sisters, I don't really understand little boys. So when I think about having kids myself, I'm not as keen on boys. But then, I think of like a little boy's arms around me calling me 'Mommy', and I think of my youngest cousin, Paulie as I last saw him, and my heart melts a little. And Ryan wants a son. So one boy seems okay. And then I think that one boy with three or four sisters? That's not bad, per se, but it'd probably be better to have two boys, so that they have a playmate for 'boy type' games. So two boys sounds okay. But three? Three BOYS?? Yeah, that sounds like way too much.

Admittedly, I don't get to plan it much. :) But I do want to adopt. And Ryan and I have talked, and ideally, we'd like to have the biological kids first. Why? Well, mainly because it'd be nice to start of the whole parenting thing normal like. We'd get the nine months to prepare (with adoption, there's more of an unknown on how long it takes). We'd get to start with a newborn, so we'll learn to parent while he or she can't remember our mistakes. :) So, I admit this could all totally change. I might have trouble conceiving, so we might decide to go for adoption first. But right now I'm thinking, in a very flexible not really a plan way, that it'd be nice to have a biological baby. Then the next kid I think we should either have another biologically or adopt from India. Basically we'll probably try biologically, and save up money in the meantime, and if it was taking a while, try adoption. Ryan is Indian, if you didn't know, and preference is given to Indians in adopting from India. There are thousands of orphans needing homes. We'd probably adopt a toddler (like three or so). I'd ideally like that child to be younger than the one we already have, though the adoption process takes over a year, so that probably means only waiting until our first is like two to start the process. They also want you to be married for five years (at the completion of the adoption), or at least together for that long, and prefer you to be at least thirty. So really that will depend on how soon we have the first kid. Both Ryan and I are 24 now, and will probably be 25 or 26 when we marry.

If we birthed the second child, I'd probably try to adopt the third. If we adopted, then I'll try to conceive a third. If not, then I think I'd let it sit for a while and raise either my three or my two for a while.

When our kids are in their pre-teens, I think I'd look into adopting a sibling group, of either two or three, from foster care, with the oldest being younger than our youngest child. Not only do I want to preserve 'birth order' if I can, but also kids tend to mimic older children. I'd rather have my newly adopted kids pick up good habits from the kids I already have then have the kids I already have pick up bad habits from the newly adopted kids. The way foster care works, they make every effort to find a blood relative to place children with before they put them up for adoption (that's why kids eligible to be adopted from foster care are usually older, since this takes time.) Which means all children eligible for adoption from foster care (which is the minority of kids in the foster care system) either have no relatives, or have no relatives capable of providing a stable home for them. So, they might pick up bad habits. That doesn't mean they can't be loving, wonderful, amazing kids. But I definitely would rather have the kids I've raised from infancy or toddlerhood influencing these hypothetical children then the other way around. :)

This is all totally hypothetical. I'm a novelist. I can't really help but write stories for myself, you know? But there are ten thousand variables. Like, I may be infertile (I have polycystic ovarian syndrome). Or maybe I churn out five bio kids in quick succession! Maybe I have twins or triplets! Or we can't find the money to adopt from India. Speaking of India, the question of whether Ryan and I will start out life in India or America has not yet been answered, and of course would change things (for one, it'd be much easier and cheaper to adopt from India if we were residents!) And how long we'd stay in either country changes things too (if we live in India forever, there's no way we'd adopt from American foster care).

You might wonder why I talked about international adoption and foster care adoption, but not the very common domestic infant adoption. Oh, yay, I'm going to teach you a little about adoption! I learn about these kinds of things for fun, and it's always nice when I can use this knowledge I've processed but not used yet.

Aside from relative adoption (grandma, step parent, etc adopting children) which is actually the most common type, there are three kinds of adoption: domestic private adoption, foster care adoption, and international adoption. Domestic private adoption is almost always infants. There's about six couples wanting to adopt for every baby available. The couples (or occasionally, single) who wants to adopt creates a profile and find an agency. Birth mothers go to the agency when they decide to adopt, look through the profiles, and select a family for their child. Some couples have been selected in a matter of weeks, others wait a decade. The process is very costly, and runs from $8K-$40K, and usually between $15K-$25K. This cost covers the agency's fees and the medical fees of both baby and mother. I'll talk about how to afford these costs below.

Foster care adoption is inexpensive to almost free. Because, as I mentioned about, children in the foster care system are not cleared for adoption until all chance of being placed with a blood relative is exhausted. Therefore, you can almost never get an infant from foster care. If you want to, your best bet is to go through foster parent training and have an infant placed with you. Then pursue adopting the baby, and even if it takes a few years, the baby has been living with you all that time. The trouble with that, of course, is maybe the baby is taken away after you've utterly fallen in love. So usually the youngest you can adopt from foster care is toddlers, and more usually school age children.

International adoption varies greatly as every country is different. Most countries are part of the Hague Convention, which sets a standard, though some aren't. Even with this standard, there are of course variations. So like I said, India prefers couples that have been married for 5 years, with the youngest being 30 (28 at time of application is okay, since it takes a while to complete), and with the sum of the couple's age not exceeding 90, or single women between the ages of 30 and 45. That's India's standard, but it's not all of them. Some will disregard any with medical problems in their past. Some countries, you can't be fat. Some countries have lower ages and are also open to single men. It really just depends. Fees vary from $10K-$35K (India is $25K-$30K). Much of this fee goes to the orphanages, and the agencies (both your adoption agency and the government agencies) and airfare. In 2009, 12,782 kids were adopted in intercountry adoptions. China, Ethiopia, Russia, South Korea, Guatemala, Ukraine, Vietnam, Haiti, India and Kazakhstan are the top ten countries adopted from in 2009. However, Guatemalan adoption has been suspended due to suspected corruption (there were reports of kidnapped children being adopted overseas) and Haitian adoptions have been suspended since the earthquake while everything is sorted out, since many children have been separated from their families and they may or may not be alive (and their birth certificate and such may have been destroyed). Each country has its pros and cons, and anyone going this route needs to do research.

So, considering how expensive domestic and international adoption is, how can any normal person afford it? And what qualifies you for adoption?

Well, for one, there are grants given to adopting couples and you can be sure I'll be applying for all of them if I go the international route. I'll also be doing fundraising. And saving. A child is way more important than a house, after all. :) I mean, I want a house, but if it's one or the other. Also there's a tax credit of about $10K, so you can get some of your money back.

For foster care and international adoption, you don't need to be rich. Usually you just need to make about $10K per year per person in your household (including the kid you're adopting). Not too hard, though an argument for adopting kids first instead of having biological kids first. The same requirement exists for private domestic adoption, but you usually need a great deal more because birth parents are looking for a better home to put their child in, and usually that means financially well off (as well as loved-- but many birth parents love their children and want love plus more for their kids).

I'm not anti-domestic private adoption, but since there's like 6 homes in line for every baby, I'd rather help a child who might not get a home. In both foster and international adoption cases, there are many children who grow up without a family of their own, turn 18, and are out in the world alone. I'd like to think if I adopt from those situations, I'd not only get the amazing gift of a child, but give the amazing gift of a family to someone who might not otherwise get that. This is more important from India than from foster care because foster care is a home of sorts, where as Indian children up for adoption are raised in orphanages.

And as far as what you have to do to adopt, all adoptive families must go through a home study and adoption classes. So there is a qualifying process.

Adoption is strong in my family. Well, or at least a spirit of it. My cousin Samantha was adopted from Kazakstan. My second cousin Christopher was adopted as well. And my cousin Jonathan adopted his step sons. My younger sister Alison and her fiance Brad fully intend to adopt from foster care in the future, after they've both completed their education and established themselves in their fields. So if I adopt, my child will grow up in a family that accepts and supports adoption.

This is a random thing blog post. None or all of this might come to pass... except one thing. Tabitha is having a boy!

Who Gives and Takes Away

Wow, okay. This blog topic's mood has changed before it started. One of my best friends from college just put on her facebook that a friend has died. My heart is pounding b/c I don't know if it is someone I know or not. And I'm praying for my friend, for her grief, but I admit I'm hoping it's not someone I know.

I am such a bad person.

I know it's normal. I know it's natural, but right now I'm half-selfish because I'm hoping that her personal pain is not my personal pain. But when one member of the Body is hurt, shouldn't we all hurt?

Of course, I do love this friend, and even if I don't know the person, I will hurt for her pain. I already do. But it's not just her....

In the past three or four weeks, six deaths have happened in my life. I was watching the news one morning and saw that a 19 year old died in a car accident. Then on facebook, it turns out he was the friend of one of my friends. Then one of Tabitha's former coworkers lost her battle with cancer. Then Bill Mullens, friend of several of my dearest friends, lost his battle with cancer. Then a young ma who worked with my friend's daughter died in a car accident. Then the brother of a girl I went to high school with died in a car accident Friday night. Then an hour ago, my friend puts up a sort of 'RIP/farewell' message to a friend, whose identity I don't know. :(

My heart is hurting. I am reminded once again that my God is the Lord who gives and takes away. It is His right, and I love His ways, but it hurts.
It hurts.

I don't know about this current death, but so far I haven't really known any of them. There's this feeling though that with all these deaths, the one that will just pound me down is right around the corner. That's where the selfishness comes in. That is where I need to cry 'Give me more love, Lord!' And I am crying that. Give me more love, more faith, more of You! To handle whatever you have for me, be it loss or gain, with love and faith and hope. Give me hope, Lord. And joy. Give me You.

Update: I don't know my friend's friend who just died. Praying for my friend and the family and loved ones of the woman who died.

Winter Approaches

Just so you know, I'm in a blogging mood. I woke up with all sort of blog worthy topics bouncing around in my head, and more came to me. So yes, I just published the last one and now I'm doing this one... and I have another topic I'm doing after this...

But so, this evening I took the dogs outside and was wowed because the leaves had fallen off our chestnut trees. Well, like 80% of them. Yesterday, they were there! They had turned this cool pumpkin-y russet-y color, with some yellow and some brown, and some green. It was lovely, all those shades in the same tree, so I have been eyeing it every day for the last few days. And today, all the highest branches are nude.

And suddenly I see the hand of winter in the fall. Last week, Tabby and I were in downtown Greenville as the sun went down and the temperature was dropping twenty degrees or so, and she was saying it was totally winter now. I was looking at the orange and red and yellow trees and said it was autumn. She said maybe, but autumn had been late in coming. I told her not at all. Actually, this year there was one day (around the first of September) when I woke up and came outside, and the air smelled like autumn. And the sky was that bluest blue and I thought with joy, "Fall is here!"

Well, fall is still here... but winter is approaching. I wonder how many more weeks we have until it overcomes us.

Boys versus Girls

Well, sort of.

Tabitha finds out the gender of her baby tomorrow!!!! I am so excited. Sometimes I wonder if I have the right to be so excited about somebody else's baby. The whole like month after she found out she was pregnant, I had this bouncy glow inside whenever I thought of it.

For the last two weeks there's been a countdown in my head about when Tabby gets to find out. Tabby has been hilarious about this whole gender thing. At first, she was neutral. She said she didn't really care, though she was curious. She put her hand lovingly on her baby bump and said she never prayed about the gender, since she knew it was already decided, and she would be fine either way. There was a slight leaning towards boy, but mainly because it was her husband's preference, and because she thinks an older brother might be cool (since she hopes to have two children, this being her first.) She is the older sister, with a younger brother, and they're not that close.

Then suddnely, she was deadset she wanted a boy. A lot of this had to do (and she admitted it to me at the time) with the fact that her husband was dumbfounded she was pregnant, and he was a little more happy with the idea of a son than a daughter. But also, Tabby loves little boys. Her face lights up when she sees them (for years before this) and so that wasn't that surprising.

Then like a month and a week or so ago a change happened. She suddenly told me she looked at all the boy stuff and it was ugly and all the girl stuff was SOOO CUTE!!! We went out during this time period and looking at the baby section of Walmart, she just utterly rejected ALL the boy stuff. I tried to show her a few little cute boy outfits for newborns and she just huffed at them. She said she didn't want a boy anymore. She'd be okay if she had one, and Jeremy (her husband) still wanted one, but she really wanted a girl. She said she had a definite feeling it was a girl, her first feeling either way. Trying to articulate this she said, 'Well, if it's a boy...,' she paused and grimaced, then cried out, 'It HAS to be a girl! I want a girl!!!'

Then she changed again. About three weeks ago, she said she realized she was totally okay with either gender. That she'd find out soon enough, so there was no reason to speculate. That Jeremy still wanted a boy so bad, but she also thinks he'd be fine with a girl and that a girl would be good for him. A friend of theirs said she thinks Jeremy NEEDs a girl. So either way, it would be good for everyone. She was very calm.

Then, last week, she was back to boy camp. We went to Babies R Us, and she didn't want to look at the girl stuff at all. She said she was having a very strong feeling it's a boy, so there was no reason to even look at the girl stuff, she was certain it's a boy. It had to be a boy. We talked about decorating the nursery for a boy, looked at boy crib sets, but she refused to look at girl's. She showed me the car seat, play pen, and stroller she wanted and said she was okay with it in the girl's pattern if necessary, but touched and gazed and loved on the boy's ones. In the clothing, we looked all through the boy stuff, her drooling, and then she said, 'Well, I guess I can look at the girl stuff,' but then pronounced most of it ugly.

So she's been really hilarious.

On the flip side, her husband has been steadily wanting a boy the whole time. Well, at first he wasn't even sure he wanted a kid (not that he was saying they'd give the kid up, just he was in shock). Then he got excited about a boy, but he's never gotten excited about a girl. He has a few times said a girl would be okay, but never that he wouldn't rather have a boy. But I also think Tabby's friend is right. A girl would be good for him. Jeremy doesn't really have a 'soft' side, and a girl would bring it out in him. She would inspire him to be a better man, to be loving and protective, to care. Admittedly, a baby of either gender would do this a little, but once a boy starts being a boy and not a baby, that might fade away. A girl would nurture this side of Jeremy, which I think would not only help him become a man, but would aid his and Tabitha's relationship. As he learns to understand his daughter, it'd help him understand females in general.

Tabby wants two kids though. But she only wants two. Jeremy, I'm not sure he wants a second kid. Of course he's gone back and forth their entire relationship about whether he wants kids at all (every six months or so he changed his mind) and he really is excited now. He's eager to be a dad.

And Tabby really wants both (obviously) she's just not sure which one she wants first. And to me, her flip flopping means that whichever way it goes, she'll be happy. So then I think of Jeremy, and what the second kid will be...

If it's a boy, then Jeremy will be very happy. Maybe bonding with his son will convince him that he wants a second kid. Though, having gotten his son, maybe he won't have the urge for a second. And seeing the exhaustion and expense, maybe he'll say 'one's enough.' But, he didn't decide it was kid time this go round, so maybe he won't get a say next one either.

If it's a girl, then Jeremy will expand his horizons. He's not the kind of guy who usually volunteers for stuff that changes his life, so that could be good for him. And if he's not gotten his son, he could be more onboard for having another kid whenever Tabby says she thinks it's time.

Either way, it'll be awesome though. And like Tabby said originally, it's already decided and has been for twenty weeks. Tabby's never given anyone but God the credit, and the amazing part, when you take the time to pause, is that this baby was handpicked by the Creator of the universe, our Savior, Beloved, and Best Friend, to be Tabby and Jeremy's child. There's no going wrong. Boy or girl, this baby is blessed and wonderful. And Tabby and Jeremy will be blessed all the more for having him or her. They find out which in like twelve hours!!!

Upcoming Stuff and Things

Can you believe next week is Thanksgiving? It's crazy. Time is going by so fast. Tabitha finds out what her baby is this week. (She's at 20 weeks- that's halfway through her pregnancy!)

Alison, my younger sister, is coming home for Thanksgiving next week. Otherwise it's just Mom, Dad, and I (though Brad, Alison's fiance, will probably make an appearance or two, he'll eat the big meal at his parent's house.) Beth, my older sister, doesn't usually come for Thanksgiving anyway. She lives in Florida, with her husband Daniel. Alison is a college student in Florence, SC. Brad is a graduate student in Florida (but a different part then Beth and Daniel). This Thanksgiving Beth and Daniel, along with Daniel's family, are traveling to Athens (Greece) and Cairo (Egypt). So she definitely won't be here! She and Daniel are world travelers. Their last trip was to Palau and Micronesia, and Beth went on to South Korea with a teacher's program (Daniel went home to work). That was this summer. Beth is going to Paris in January or February for a training program for teacher's hosting international trips or something like that? Then Beth and some of her students, along with Daniel who will be one of the chaperons, are going to Italy in March. Pretty awesome.

Beth, from a recent visit.

But anyway, back to Thanksgiving. Ali's coming home, and then afterwards, I'm going back with her to Florence. I'm going to stay at her apartment for a week, for a change of pace a little sisterly bonding (though not too much, since she's in college and it's approaching the end of the semester.) This is her senior year.

Aaanndddd.... it's her birthday next week! It's next Tuesday. She'll be 22. Which doesn't sound that wrong, except when I think that I was 22 when I graduated college, which seems like not that long ago at all. But Beth being 26 is crazier to me, and she's been 26 since March. But life marches on, I guess.

I realized today it's been six months since I regularly exercised. It's not that I haven't exercised at all, but it's been few and far between. See, I had been doing like exercise videos (that I'd DVRed off of FitTV), Wii Fit Plus, and would go walking and to the gym with Tabitha. Well, lightening hit the tv like six months ago or so, and took it out and the DVR. We didn't get that fixed/taken care for months. Then Tabby and I didn't get together except one or twice for the gym for the next month or so... then Tabby found out she was pregnant. And that limits what kinds of exercising you're allowed to do, and we've barely gotten together to exercise since.

I'm not saying that's valid excuses, that is, I also have a stationary bike I rarely use I could have been using, and I could have been taking walks near my house. But I haven't much. And my tv and DVR and wii have all been back for at least three months. But since I was out of the habit, it's been hard to get back, and indeed, I have not gotten back. But I'm noticing I'm really flabby. I'm big, and always have been. I'm not one of those people who 'let themselves go'. I've never been a normal weight my adult life. But I have had periods of being active, and periods of eating right. And this is not one of them. I can't really do anything about the food. Since I'm unemployed, I don't have any money to buy food, and Mom and Dad do that. And like with everyone now, money is tight. And the easiest way to cut your budget? Food. So like probably around the time I stopped working out, we had to switch from whole wheat back to white bread. Which you might think the price isn't big, but the like 80 cent difference is enough to buy like a canned food item or something that can stretch out one meal into two. That's not the only way we've cut back, but my family doesn't eat that healthy to begin with, and that's one of the few strides towards healthier eating we'd made.

So right now, changing the diet is not really in my hands (I can choose not to eat something, but without a substitute, it's hard to have the will power), but exercising is!

I've been crocheting a lot. It's satisfying to make something with your own hands. I'm working on presents for like Christmas and stuff. It's in my budget- since I already own a lot of yarn!

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I miss my blog. I keep thinking about blogging, but I'm barely online, which is why I'm texting this in. Not much has changed but little things happen. Rejoice!

Novel November

So hello. It's a new month and the election is over. As an independent I'd like to think the Republicans gaining control of the house would foster cooperation between the two sides and be a reason for people to listen and learn from each other. But I know that's not how it's likely to work out. Instead each side will be adamant about mutilating everything the other sides tries to accomplish for good, making it useless or often, for the people's bad, and call it victory. Blessedly, real victory lies in Christ alone! He is my King, above the American government, though of course I also submit to the government. "Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.” -Romans 13:1

I'm learning how to play guitar. I am determined. I actually have wanted to play guitar since I was in middle school. My parents gave me a guitar around then, but told me I had to teach myself to play. I couldn't even tune it. I just had a CD to play to match the note up and I couldn't do it. I tried and tried. So that's pretty much all I did. Pathetic.

So in college I tried again. I had a friend give me some pointers, but she was busy. And again, I tried to tune it by listening to something, but couldn't.

So for my new year's resolution 2009, I said I was going to learn to play the guitar by the end of the year or I'd give it away. I went out and bought an electric tuner (Praise the Lord! I love it!) and some new pics, and a book and DVD and determined, sat down to do it...

I tuned the sixth string... the fifth...fourth..third..second... and when I got the first... the peg broke! You know, the tuning thing you twist at the top? It broke! And at this point I didn't have the money to fix it. So I basically cried.

I was unemployed by this time (I lost my job in Feb 2009) and didn't get employed again until January 2010, so when Christmas 2009 rolled around, I already knew I wasn't going to learn to play the guitar by the end of the year. So I asked my parents for either a new guitar or a dulcimer. Dulcimers are supposed to be easy to play. They thought it was a little weird, but I told them I still wanted to play the guitar, and I couldn't play my broken guitar (which I was told would take $30 to fix), and I really just wanted to start anew. I loved my old guitar. Adored it. But I'd owned it for almost a dozen years and had never learned to play it. They thought I was a little weird, but sort of understood. I didn't tell them I'd vowed to give my guitar away, but that was key to me. I couldn't just fix and keep it, I'd vowed to give it away.

So they didn't get me a new guitar or dulcimer for Christmas. But, they did get me a new guitar for my birthday, in February. It's a parlor sized acoustic, made for beginners. And I have given the old guitar away now. :) (Which was a full sized acoustic, made by who I assume is a slightly better maker, but still for beginners.) So I'm trying to learn the new guitar. I know Em, G, D... that's all I'm confident of right now. And I can't really change from one to another without a three or four second pause. lol. But I'm trying. And with practice I'll get it. Also, maybe if I find that DVD.. b/c I lost it and am just working out of a book. And I can't find any of my guitar picks either. I was playing with the stem of a leaf the other day. I put all my picks together... and can't find them. Sigh. And since, again, I am unemployed, I can't buy any. It's all very silly. But I'm trying. And I'm determined. Hopefully by this Christmas I'll be able to smoothly play at least one song. And by the time I'm 30 (I'm 24 now) I hope to play the guitar as well as any average guitar player (not about to go pro here... lol). It really hurts my brain though. I just don't have those instrument playing pathways forged in my neuro-structure. I sing, but that's it. This will be my first instrument. And I will praise the Lord on it!! :)

I didn't actually get to vote yesterday. I was kind of upset. I had stayed up all night, and tried to stay up so we could go vote (I was going with my parents). But it was almost 1pm and they still weren't ready, and so I went to bed and they woke me up after 5pm. The polls closed at 7. So I went to get my ID... and couldn't find it. I searched, but ultimately they left around 6 and didn't take me. I glumly turned the radio on... and heard the guy say you needed either your voter registration card, your ID, or your social security card. Well I had my social security card!! But I didn't have a ride anymore. I couldn't take myself. I was upset. So upset, I dreamed about getting to vote anyway last night. But I was praying to God to help me find my ID, and I still haven't, so my guess is it was God's will. My one vote wouldn't have changed anything anyway (don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people who thinks their vote doesn't count-- just I'm assuming there weren't masses of people who wanted to vote and couldn't find their ID, so in reality I really would have been just one vote and none of the elections I'd have been voting in would have changed results for one vote). So it's okay. But I am sad about that.

I do have mixed feelings. I am a true independent in that I don't really agree fully with either party at all. I agree more fully with the Democrats, and considered myself one when I was younger, but the issues with which I agree with the Republicans are very important issues to me. And I'm like the opposite of a Libertarian. lol. Economically, I'm Democrat. When it comes to international issues, I'm usually Democrat. When it comes to many domestic social issues, I'm usually Republican. That's pretty much how it splits. And since I really don't want either party entirely in control, having a split Congress could be awesome... but I just think they'll hurt each other's efforts, instead of compromising and working together.

I am very, very cold. I don't want to go unload the dishwasher, but my mom insists. I therefore must go. Happy November people (and when I say 'Novel November' I mean Novel as in new and different in a quirky way, not like a book, despite the length of this post!)