Sunday, April 24, 2011
I am so flawed. I've been made to stare my flaws and foibles straight in the face lately. By lately, I mean months. Just flaw after flaw...
And every time I try, with prayer and love, to tackle these flaws and start to make progress... I realize I'm dropping the ball in another area of my life. It's so frustrating.
I don't want to list my flaws here. I don't think God calls us to do that. He wants us to be aware, recognize, and not deny our flaws, but He doesn't want us to flaunt them either. But I am very aware that I am lowly, and selfish and despite the pain it causes to my pride, other people do recognize it.
I want everyone to say 'Wow! Pam is awesome!' and lift me up. And dear loved ones sometimes do... but there's also sideways glances and doubts and acknowledging of my weaknesses that makes my confidence waver and my self-worth fail...
But my worth isn't in other people's opinion of me. How can it be? I am in Christ! He is my worth, and the only one who is worthy. When people see Pam, no wonder they don't see someone who is worthy- I'm not! But she's bound, forever, in the loving embrace of the only one who is!
My beloved Christ died, and with him so did my flaws! It is simply up to me to claim Jesus's perfection now! So I, who love the church year for its important reminder for us of the life of Christ and His Church, shall not only be reminded of his death and resurrection this Easter, but that of mine, within Him. He is risen, today and always! Happy Easter!