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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I have a sleeping disorder

I have a sleeping disorder. It's not a matter of will power or choice, it's a disease.  No one gets angry at an epileptic for having seizures, so why are people angry at me for not being able to control my sleeping habits?

I have shed so many tears over this, some tonight.  I have pleaded and begged myself, on my knees, crying before bed telling myself I had to go to a class in the morning for a test or something... only to oversleep and wake up and weep and wail. I have seen it cause people to lose respect for me, it's cost me opportunities, and I have let countless amount of people down.

Please understand, people. This is not my choice. It is my disease. You may be a victim, but I am its primary victim.

Of course, this doesn't apply to most of you, maybe even all of you. The person who prompted this doesn't even read my blog. But I am upset, and I thought I'd throw this out here. And add that if you know someone with a sleeping disorder, don't get angry at them for something they can't control. I don't know how many nights I've been scared to sleep because I didn't know if I'd wake up in time for something important, or how many nights I've lain in bed for hours upon hours without sleep overtaking me.

It is not a matter of will power or priorities. It really isn't. Have patience with me. Please.

And I am sorry for everyone I have let down through the years because of this. You will never know how sorry.

1 comment:

  1. Hey beautiful you have not let me down so do not worry, I love you regardless.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for comments, they delight me! Please keep your comments civil and while I read every comment, I reserve the right to delete ones that are especially negative. Thanks!

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