Sometimes blog posts build up throughout the day and are ready to be poured out by the time I get to the computer. Sometimes, like this time, there's thoughts I have but they're not yet concise, not yet defined, not yet whole.
Yet, I want to share the thoughts, at least, of the process. Yesterday I went to church with my friend Erika, two services in fact. We went again to NewSpring, where she attends, and then to the church which her father pastors, since it's Father's Day. Both sermons fit together well, and were showing me things.
How those things will be applied, I am not yet sure, except to focus more on the here and now, while still never taking eyes off the promises and plans God has for me (not I have for myself). The here and now? I'm not really excited about that. There are elements that excite me: connecting with friends, training for the Field of Sunflowers Walk/Run, and so on... but what God was making me focus on in the here and now was cleaning the living room, doing the dishes, and listening. Not exciting stuff.
Indeed, it was mixed. Friday night we talked about missionaries at Bible Study. Missionary? I'm not saying I'm called to that, per se, but all Christians are called to shine Christ's light where they are, and soon I hope to be in India, not just for the visit Ryan and I are working towards for the fall, but to live, with Ryan as my spouse. My path has been shaped recently towards molding my mind and heart towards India. I have seen the signs along this road pointing the way, and I have some indication where I'm going...
So my heart has been ahead, where God has been setting my mind, but now He's trying to call me back, back to here. Back to the present moment. And there's a deepness to that, a solemn weight, an indescribable weight. I really can't figure out how to express it to you. But it is serious, but calm, unfettered, and joyful... still not putting right...
The books and movies I've seen lately are on a theme. A theme I am not prepared to share. At the churches on Sunday, there was this sense of excitement, of running for adventure, of following God as Abraham did, not knowing where he was going, yet he left all he knew and went. It stirred with me this sense of yeah, let's go!
Not knowing where he was going was the key phrase... and the adventure God highlighted to me?
Cleaning the living room.
I don't understand. But I am having faith, and listening, and loving... pray for me. And for Ryan.
Oh, please pray for my Ryan. He's taking huge, huge exams for the rest of the week (he's in college). First one tomorrow... well late tonight, with the time difference.
I am about to finish my pre-Couch to 5K program. I love you, readers!