I went to sleep blissfully thinking "Oh how I love that man!!"
I had just gotten off the phone with Ryan, who is, indeed "that man". I am so very in love with him. But I admit, I'm not in love with him alone.
Earlier this summer, when I was hanging out with a single friend of mine, I shared with her something that was shared with me in college.
Since I went to Converse College, which is an all women's college, I've never had this conversation with a man. I don't know if it works the same for them. But a few of my Christian girl friends in college let me in on the secret.
Sometimes, when a Christian girl has a crush on a Christian boy, she's not really crushing on him. She's responding to the Jesus in him. You see, she's already fallen head over heels in love with Jesus. So when she sees Him shining out from a man, something in her swoons.
It was a lightbulb moment for me when I was clued in in college. It explained a few crushes I'd had that I didn't really want to have, but I just felt myself respond to good Christian guys. (Including a few with girlfriends.) I fought the feelings off, but wasn't sure why they were so sudden and strong. Now I got it.
And earlier this summer, when I told my single friend, there was a long pause. For a second I thought was thinking "Sheesh, Pam is crazy." But then she exclaimed, "That makes SO MUCH SENSE!"
Apparently there'd been many boys over the years that she'd felt attraction towards as well. And once she realized you could respond to the Jesus in someone, it all clicked.
So last night, as I got off the phone, I was so blissfully happy to be loving Ryan. And it's amazing. Because unlike those not-quite-real crushes in the past where I was responding to Jesus in a guy, I am genuinely in love with Ryan. And moreover, he also shines Jesus forth. So I've got a double whammy. A wonderful, funny, amazing, loving, tender man who pours forth the fragrance of Christ.
Oh how I love that man!!