Sunday, December 4, 2011

Past, Present, Future

Speaking of the past, this is from last winter. Pretty though, huh?
Sometimes I just tell myself: write something.  Right now I'm in the mix of thinking about the past and the future.

I spent a ton of time today looking at wedding things.  Ryan and I are getting married, so this is appropriate and fun (and he knew I was doing it and was cool with it), but I know I have to control myself. I can get obsessive.  I was engaged in the past, so I know the ins and outs of the wedding planning stuff anyway, and I know I can't get enough. A friend and I have discussed in the past being wedding planners because of our shared love of all things wedding... but nothing ever came of it or probably ever will.

Then I talked to one of my old roommates from college. I had four.  Each very different in her own way.  And this sent me to reminiscing.  I miss my college friends.  Except Lydia, who I see in day to day life fairly regularly, I've not really caught up with any of my college friends in the last month or so.  Not that I've lost touch with many, just everyone is busy and life is changing and so on and so forth. But nostalgia took over and I found myself aching to know what's going on in like at least a half dozen of my friends lives right now.  And I had to stop myself, once again.

It's easy for me to forget to live in the now. Right now today I am... pretty much doing nothing. I know I have to do some dishes.  Um... that's pretty much it. Tomorrow I have church and work but today I have no plans. So in my mind, I'm off in lala land.

When I was talking to my old roommate, catching up, it was fun because apparently I'd not told her I was moving to India. Most people know that, so I was happy to tell someone new.  And she said something about it taking a lot of faith and I assured her that God was holding us in His hands, and He'd orchestrated us meeting and was directing us to marry and even more...

And I rested in that for a moment.  It's so true. Some of it I can't even express to you all. But God's got Ryan and my plans worked out. They're His plans, and we are His.  And I think of this and I feel this wave of confidence come over me. God's got this covered. God's got it all worked out. And so I can step confidently on the path, because God's my travel agent and guide.

So exciting, God. So exciting.

My past was planned and molded by You to bring me to my present. And my present is shaped by You for my future. And for as long as I have left on this earth, and I don't know how long that will be but You do, will prepare me for eternity. And I love You, and this feeling of assurity and faith. I love loving You, and knowing You. It's so keenly beautiful it pierces the heart. You are my great Lord, and I am ransomed to You. I love You, and You ravish my heart. Thank You, Beloved, thank You for being You.  You are amazing and unequaled. You are my keen delight, and I worship You. I worship You. I worship You!!

1 comment:

  1. Amen! You articulate what I feel about the past and future so well.

    All we can do is wait to see what God has in store for us... and that's so hard!


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