Preparation Thursday

This week I've decided to talk about two cerebrally interesting topics:

Language Acquisition and Personality Type Compatibility

Fun, huh?

Okay, maybe you're not the dork that I am. And I admit language acquisition isn't necessarily very fun. I have my Nook filled with a lot of random Hindi resources, and my netbook has many more, more relevant resources that Ryan has shared with me. Plus I have a book and flash cards.

you can see the Hindi book in there

My friend Jennifer was a modern languages and English double major, then went on to get her Master's in poetry, but took a linguistics course. So a few weeks ago I was discussing learning Hindi with her (which she doesn't know: she only knows English, Spanish, Italian, German, and Arabic) and she was practically giggling with glee as I was telling some of the quirks of my soon-to-be second language. (I took five years of French, but it never fully took.)

There's some fun to all that.... but that doesn't mean I've grasped Hindi yet... ha. No where close. But immersion will help when I get there!

Now, onto something I know more about: personality types! I've had an on again off again romance with Myers Briggs for eight years now. My college had all incoming freshmen take a free version of it you can find here, and I was typed as an INFP.  A few years later the leadership institute I was a member of paid to have me take the official one, and I was an ENFP. I was startled to be an ENFP instead of an INFP... but in both times I was tested I was only weakly introverted or extroverted, plus I think I did mature into an extravert, but I'm right on the cusp. Still, I am definitely an ENFP.

Me and Lydia

Funnily enough, my mom and Ryan have the same personality type. My older sister and my friend Tabitha have the same personality type. My younger sister and my other best friend Lydia have the same personality type. My mom also has the same personality type as her father, and my dad has the same personality type as her mother. (Ie both my mother and I are marrying our mothers. Weird.)

You might say, what does that have to do with Preparation Thursday? Well, I was reading about Ryan and my personality type compatibility. And it was fun to read his description because I was like "Yep. That's my man!" lol.

Me and Tabitha

I also was reading about my own type... and feeling wistful. I don't take criticism well. Apparently other ENFPs are with me on that one. It cuts us to the quick and really hurts. And I realized that applying for jobs is all about criticism. People look you over and judge you, whether by words on an application/resume or literally during an interview. They decide whether they deem you good enough. So every time I don't get a job, I feel condemned as not good enough. Every time a well meaning friend or family member implies I could do more to get a job, I feel judged and found wanting. It is so hard not to just stay in bed when I think about it. My self confidence is shot. Add in the whole job applications are paperwork and I have severe paperwork anxiety and I shrivel inside.

But I have to remind myself, my worth is in God. And that somehow this extremely painful reality for me must be for my good... even though I feel like it's to my detriment. I feel less loved when jobs come up. I feel like a failure in most people's eyes. It makes me want to run.

Yeesh, this is depressing. But true. Transparent blogging. But this was supposed to be light and fun..

So back to the positive side of being an ENFP: I'm warm and enthusiastic, very empathetic to most people, flexible, adaptable, and creative. And all that is very true. And I will try not to dwell on the fact that I can't seem to find any jobs who value those traits. And I will try to remember that I am loved.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:54-7