Tuesday, October 16, 2012

More Than This Monday: National Infant Loss Remembrance Day

{Sorry this is late. I got online late in the day, then well, this was hard to write.}

Earlier I was emailing my friend Hannah to make sure she'd heard about my bloggy friend Sarah's link-up for National Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
Hannah's daughter Sadie Mae died the same day she was born, in January 2011.

The death of little Sadie Mae really affected me.

I'm not sure I can point to one reason. Hannah and I are good friends from way back, though we hadn't really seen each other in a while. But we had been close, going to senior prom together.

I also knew it has to do with the fact that I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) which meant when I was 16 my doctor told me I may never have children. So even though I don't know if I'll have a biological baby because I've never tried for one, I empathize with the infertile and those with troubled pregnancies because I feel I may be one of them, someday.

I also think it was probably because when Hannah as pregnant with Sadie Mae forty of my facebook friends were pregnant. I was engrossed in their stories, and my mother's heart was born. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not a mom yet. And I always wanted to be a mom, so I didn't get a maternal side all of a sudden. But I got "baby fever." And all that meant it was the "right" time in my life to break my heart over Sadie Mae.

And then, when I was already hurting for Hannah, Hannah started blogging.

I'd already been blogging for years, but Hannah started to have a legacy for Sadie Mae and to write for God. And she plugged into a blogging community I didn't have: mommy bloggers. And I started reading their blogs. And again, my heart got invested.

In many ways what my blog has become is because of little Sadie Mae. That hit me strong when I as writing that email to Hannah. Sadie Mae is one of the songs of the Songs on the Way.

So today I want to say to Hannah, and Sarah, and all the other parents ho are reading this who have lost their infant, their beloved child, that their loss is remembered, and probably affected more people than you know.

I tell you the truth, a grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die to make many seeds. But if it never dies, it remains only a single seed. John 12:24

I know God has a purpose for every life.
the Songs on the Way

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1 comment:

  1. Sorry I am just heading your way.

    Beautiful post.

    I love that you refer to Sadie Mae as a "song."


    You brought tears, Pam.

    Love you!


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