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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Wedding Wednesday and Into the Word

My wedding shoes (ignore the unglamorous background)
Eep! So much going on!

So we've got the hall booked for the court wedding. I've got my wedding shoes. You already know I've got my sari and the rings. Invitations are done. The honeymoon is in the process of being booked.

All that really has to be done is get Ryan his shirt and pack for the honeymoon. And get married of course. And pay for a lot of it.

Eep!

As for into the Word Wednesday (which I went to link up to last week and couldn't find, so I hope they're doing it this week) I have a little story to tell.

Our God is a God of Truth. And so lately, preparing me for marriage, He's been humbling me by revealing the truth about incidents in my past, especially during adolescence and in past relationships.  This has revealed hurts I hadn't even realized were in me, and I have been struggling to deal with this, especially in the midst of culture shock and wedding planning.

So last night, my mind was acting like a dog returning to its vomit and I was dwelling on ungodly stuff I thought I'd left in my past until recently. And I wised up and stopped and repented after a spiritual struggle in me. And in the midst of this warfare I went to the random bible verse generator I liked and prayed, "God please give me a verse. I know this generator isn't an oracle, and I don't mean to treat you like an 8-ball but please encourage me I need you."

And I got this verse:

Then Jesus told his disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.' -Matthew 16:24

And it struck deep and I took a few moments to ponder it.

Disciples. That's me. And being a disciple takes discipline.

'If anyone would come after me' I do want to come after Him!

'let him deny himself and take up his cross' Of course. Choosing not to entangle myself in this issue is crucifying my Self. My evil little Self who wants her own way instead of God's way has a horrid fixation on these issues. But it's my cross to not give into it, despite the fact it is wicked hard to do because she is not a gentle Self, but loud and vulgar.

'and follow me' This is what it comes down to... following Christ where He's going. Taking up the cross and following Him? Do I love Him even unto Death? I say I do, but it's in moments like that when choosing Him over evil thoughts might seem like nothing to an outsider, but spiritually it's a huge victory of Christ.

But even though I knew the Truth of these words, I was having trouble. My mind, my sleepy mind that is hard to control as I was lying down at night at this time, was trying to return to the vomit. So I prayed again to God to help me grasp this fully and give me another verse that would help me put this into action. I prayed and refreshed the browser.

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 3:13-14

Bam.

Forgetting what lies behind. That's what really surged through me. I realized that God, the God of Truth, had righted my perspective of my past... but now that it was righted, He wanted me to put it out of my mind and focus on Him and the future He has for me.

God's just brought another verse to the table as I talk to you now:

"And make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed." -Hebrews 12:13

Satan's lie about my past had affected my gait as I ran towards the prize. So God's reached down and straightened me out. Startled, I've been dwelling on the correction God just gave me, shocked I'd not realized the crookedness earlier... But God's telling me, in His loving way, "Pam, sweetie, I straightened this lie out so that you can pursue me better, not so you can focus on the lie and how you fell for it. Don't dwell on why it is that way, just dwell on Me."

God. Is. Awesome.

Linking up to Into the Word Wednesday.

4 comments:

  1. Good luck for your wedding and honeymoon. I am a new follower from the blog hop anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  2. New GFC follower from the GFC hop. Would love it if you could visit and follow back. Thanks! http://Menopausalmother.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are killing me here with all this suspense! So, when is the date!?! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Pam, sweetie, I straightened this lie out so that you can pursue me better, not so you can focus on the lie and how you fell for it. Don't dwell on why it is that way, just dwell on Me." <---- Wow!!! Yeah, I needed to hear this!! Thank you. :)

    Where did you go last week to link up? I'm glad you linked up this week, cause I know I needed to hear this!!

    Also, your shoes are adorable!!

    Falen
    www.UpwardNotInward.com

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for comments, they delight me! Please keep your comments civil and while I read every comment, I reserve the right to delete ones that are especially negative. Thanks!

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