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Friday, February 22, 2013

When Faith Falters

I just got inspired to write this and like many posts, the idea comes to me and I think to myself, "When should I post that?" Inspiration usually comes in clumps, so if I just wrote and post them I'd probably post four posts on one day and then not post for a week. That's one of my main motivation for having weekly repeating topics (ie Thankful Thursday).

The next free day was Friday... and it seemed really appropriate that Friday is often "Faith Filled Friday" when the topic today is faith...

But not being filled with it, but instead when it just seems to falter.

I'm not talking about lack of faith in an unbeliever or even in a baby Christian who hasn't yet developed a history with their Savior. I'm talking about when a mature Christian just finds their faith... isn't there.

I'd heard about these valleys when I was a younger Christian, and how people say all Christians go through them. I'm not big on making generalizations like that. And while I've heard of strong, faithful Christians going through very long droughts where they just don't feel God's presence (even years) I've never had that experience and I pray I never will...

But I have had those faltering faith days. When on theoretical Monday I'm strong in the Lord and come Wednesday I barely believe in His power, when I find my mind filled with doubt and panick and I think, "What's going on?"

In my strong days, I rely on God moment to moment. I ask of Him, and He answers if not immediately than within the day. I feel His presence and I rejoice. I know who He is, and I recall all He does, all the answered prayers, and I believe. I've had a few, very few as I'm not claiming to be matured to the full stature of Christ, but there have been a few moments when the spiritual reality is more real to me than this material world that floods my senses.

And in those strong days, I am so thankful of my relationship with the Lord and I think I am so grateful I could never not believe. He has been so good to me, how could I forget Him?

And then there are those faltering faith days.

Days when secular theories seem more plausible than the Bible.

Days when I don't remember why I'm fighting the spiritual warfare.

Well when I say days, I don't mean days. I mean days when I have to fight against this faltering. These absurd thoughts come to my mind and I find it so hard to fight it back. I reach out for faith and find so very little of it.

And I didn't know why, but all I knew to do was persevere. To tell myself about God's faithfulness in the past, and just endure...

But today I had a revelation and I think I have some insight into why days and moments like that come.

I think it's God's way of reminding me that faith is a gift.

The Bible says "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." -Ephesians 2:8-9

Faith is a gift. And I think sometimes my hold on that faith isn't as strong as I'd like so I can remember that my faith is not of me. I did nothing to earn it. I am not more faith filled than another because I am better or more spiritual than they are... I have faith simply because it pleases God to give it to me.

So on this Faith Filled Friday I hope if you have faith you thank God for it. And I pray that more of you are given faith. http://www.missionalwomen.com/faith-filled-friday-blog-link-up.html

1 comment:

Esther Joy said...

Yes, "faith is a gift". It's not anything I can brag about - it's simply a gift!

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