Hi blog readers,
I've been sick.
That's why you haven't seen me around.
I'm still sick, but I didn't come to tell you about that (I'm on the mend) but because I've been moved to write a blog post about marriage.
Specifically the sacredness of it.
My heart is so grieved when I look at the state of marriages today. They are thrown away so easily.
In the movie Fireproof there's a brilliant scene where the husband and wife are telling their friends about their marriage woes and they're getting a lot of "throw them to the curb" advice.
And so often that's what you see.
Fear God, people.
The Bible says, "Let marriage be held in honor by all, and let the marriage bed be kept undefiled; for God will judge fornicators and adulterers." Hebrews 13:4
Everybody knows that adultery is wrong, so I didn't share the verse for that reason, I shared it because that first part says 'let marriage be held in honor by all'. All.
That means all Christians everywhere, head's up. Honor marriage. Your friend thinking of leaving her husband? Don't just nod your head and tell her to find herself. Sit her down and find out what's wrong. Support her decision to stay and work on it.
Don't get me wrong, the truth is some divorce is unavoidable. Sometimes it can't be worked out. Sometimes the other party will not work with you.
But seriously, I think at least in America those kind of divorces are definitely in the minority.
God gave us marriage as a metaphor for his relationship with us. Have you ever betrayed God? Cheated on Him by putting something before Him? Have you always loved Him with your whole heart, soul, mind, and strength? Have you never broke a promise to Him? Have you never tried His patience? Refused to change something He's asked you to? Kept putting off what is important to Him in order to put your own interests first? Used His name as a curse word?
Has He given up on you? (No!)
Marriage to a human being is hard. They are imperfect, impatient, immature, selfish, and can be just plain awful.
And He does not give up.
That's not to say that it's always going to work out. Not everyone is going to heaven, people. I mean this isn't a post about salvation, but what I'm saying is that when it comes down to it all existence is about relationship.
God created all and is sovereign.
It is not ridiculous to stub your toe and ask God why. I know it sounds ridiculous, but God isn't going to let your tiniest pinky get bruised without meaning... it may simply to teach to watch where you're stepping but God's sovereignty means He is fully present in everything you encounter.
How much more so in something He says, just sheerly spells out in the Bible, exists as a way for us to experience the relationship with Him and the Church in an incredible way.
Marriage is a living parable.
And it has to be honored by all. Single, married, divorced, widow, child, parent, teenager, man, woman, doesn't matter. All.
It is sacred, people.
And I totally think our generation has lost sight of this.
It breaks my heart but more than that it makes me want to stand up and shout.
No, he shouldn't you talk to you like that... but swallow your pride and make him breakfast.
No, she never should have flirted with him... but read Hosea and understand God's love and what He wants from you and bring her flowers.
Yes, it's exhausting... but it's a pearl of great worth. It's worth it.
If your marriage is particularly trying, do it for the reward. Say what? Seriously, maybe God gave you that spouse because He wants to drape you in spiritual diamonds when you get to heaven and say well done! You loved like crazy when it seemed crazy to love at all. In this you proved yourself to be faithful, here is your eternal reward.
And if your friend or sister or brother or someone comes to you, don't just be their sounding board Be Christ to them. Be loving and gentle, but direct them to pursuing love and peace and honoring marriage.
I'm not saying stay in the house with an abuser.
But even separation, patience, and loads of prayer should be pursued before divorce is sought.
Because if God can't change people, where is the hope for any of us?
I stand up and tell you all now, I deserve hell. I seriously have such ugly blackness inside me I don't know how God can stand letting me exist...
But He's changing me. And even when I can't see that, like lately, when I've been despairing at how hard it's been to be loving these past few months and I just seem to be an awful person inside, I look back at who I used to be and see who I am and can see He's started a good work in me. So in faith I rest in the fact that He will bring it to completion if I wait on the Lord
And that's true.
Because we humans really are like whores (read Hosea if that throws you off) but God is not. God is perfect, and we can trust Him.
Please don't give up. He is with you!