Dear Baby

Let's go to bed, Baby...

Dear Baby,                                                                 12:47am

We've not gotten a lot done today. I know it's because you're teething and feeling clingy so I can't get farther than two feet from you without you crying. Which is why I basically rarely left your side today. I'm starting to get tired, I say let's shut down the house and head to bed. You'll get sleepy soon too, yes? You're probably hungry and I'll just nurse you to sleep. I think we'll be asleep within an hour, right?

Love,
Mommy

Dear Baby,                                                        1:09am

You were actually asleep for like five minutes you know. But when Mommy reached over to flip the light off you woke up since the source of your food left the two inch perimeter of your face. And now you're giggling and Wide. Awake. You keep kicking me.

Okay, let's play with you a little to tire you. You'll be back to sleep soon, right?

Love,
Mommy

Dear Baby,                                                                                                                              1:36am

It's okay to sleep when you're tired. I know, I know, you're not going to listen to me. I remember being a kid myself and feeling like I'd miss something if I fell asleep. But truthfully, you're not even a kid. You're a baby. The highlight of your day is me blowing raspberries on your belly or making funny voices. I tell you what, I promise not to do those things again until you wake up. See? You won't miss anything. So stop trying to force yourself to stay awake, rubbing your obviously exhausted eyes and trying to smile, and go to sleep. You won't miss anything exciting.

Love,

Mommy.

You, a few minutes before I went to the
bathroom

Dear Baby,                                                           2:01am

You were playing so happily with your little plastic giraffe rattle, I thought I could sneak over to the bathroom. Which is attached to the bedroom,, and I left the door open. You were on the bed. And yet, you realized I was gone and started shrieking. I was already on the toilet so I kept going, but I was calling out that I'd be back and I loved you.. you didn't care. You know Mommy doesn't wear diapers, right?

Still, it made me sad to see your tear streaked face two or three minutes later when I rushed back. I'm glad I snuggled you back to calmness. Maybe you'll sleep now.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Baby,                                                            2:39am

I wanted some adult company so I called your grandma in America. That was nice, right? You hung up on her, which you must have thought was cute... and honestly, it was. But still. Don't do it. Especially since I know you mainly did it not to hit the red on screen button but because you're trying to grab Mommy's phone and put it in your mouth.

Speaking of your mouth though when you kissed my cheek was adorable. I think my heart melted.

Still, let's try sleep now, okay? Grandma was awake because in America it's the afternoon. Here in India it's sleepy time.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Baby,                                                                                                                           3:11am

Obviously you didn't go to sleep. Well, that's okay. I love you anyway. But beginning to cry hysterically because you stayed awake too long and then when I try to lay you down to get you to sleep crying even more hysterically... well it doesn't make much sense. But yes, I will pace the floor with you. For the third time. This time stay asleep?

Love,

Mommy.

You, fighting sleep and being adorable at it

Dear Baby,                                                                                                                             3:45am

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are asleep. I'm going to bed now too. Love, love, love, love, love you!

Love,
Mommy

Dear Baby,                                                                                                                             5:25am

I admit it, I love bed sharing now. I had been scared of it and absolutely refused to do it when you came home from the hospital but between you and your dad, you guys wore me down and now I love it. I know it's the right choice for us...

However.

This is really not fair. I am not just the part of the milk comes out of, you understand? So if in my sleep I roll so it's my side and not that part of me that's two inches away from you, please don't start whimpering okay?

Now, I'm not talking about that nightmare you had a bit ago, I get that you can't help that. I prayed over you. Though that also woke me up.

I'm just saying that as I fall asleep my body starts to move a bit. Because pacing the floor with you and nursing you all day and all that makes my back hurt and it wants to be able to move in sleep... but every time I move you wake me up. Please stop!

So if I want to roll onto my back or my other side, can't you let me? Do you have to wake up crying because the source of food is more than two inches from your face and this is scary?

I promise I will still feed you. I'm actually still just two inches from you, it's just my side or my back. It's still me. Promise.

Love,

Mommy

PS. You keep getting cold because you're kicking the blankets off with great vigor the second I put them on you. Luckily, it's not actually cold. But you need to stop doing that before winter, sweetie. Listen to Mommy. For once.

Dear Baby,                                                                                                             Sometime after dawn

Yeah, read the last letter again, will you? Yes, I have gotten some sleep. But it's not enough... okay fine, you're not compromising. I guess I will get some pillows and try to prop my body up so the milk dispenser stays within reach of your mouth. I guess this is because you're teething.

Still, you're crazy, baby. But I love you.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Baby,                                                                                                                           12:57pm

Okay, Mommy's up now. She's talking to Daddy, who is home after working all night. You're sleeping. This is great.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Baby,                                                                                                                          1:37pm

Leaving the room now. Don't wake up. (I confess I feel a bit free to go to the bathroom without feeling like I'm abandoning you. I did a little happy dance that was really me stretching my tight shoulders with a smile. Cause I'm too tired to dance.) Daddy's there for when you wake up. Which probably will be soon.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Baby,                                                                                                                         2:22pm

Okay, I've had breakfast. And you're not awake.

This is weird.

But good, right? I guess I should get something done that's not easy to do with you awake, right?

You, awake, with your Tigger!

Love,
Mommy

PS. I think I miss you a little.

Dear Baby,                                                                                                                           3:07pm

Your Daddy just brought you to me. Good morning, Starshine! (Or afternoon, whatever.) I'm happy to see you! Let's start our day! Oh, off for a diaper change!

Love,
Mommy

PS. Maybe today let Mommy go say, ten feet away from you without thinking it's a big deal? I'll let you play with your giraffe. Or poppity turtle. Even Tigger or Tagpole. Whatever you want.

PPS. Love you.

*This is meant to be humorous so all times were estimated and all letters written after the fact. But this was basically Saturday night into Sunday this week. All photos are actually of that time!*