Dreamer has gotten a potato from the kitchen. I try to take it back from her.
"No, 'tato!!" She looks at me expectantly and starts miming peeling it.
"Do you want me to cook the potato?"
With gleeful satisfaction she entrusted the tuber into my hand. "Cook tato!"
Well. I have my orders!
Dreamer is hitting me with a big paint brush. I take it from her. She tries to get it back.
"Be gentle. Are you going to be gentle?"
"Are you going to be gentle?"
"Yeah." I hand it back to her.
She immediately lifts the paintbrush up to her eye, sort of aiming it like a weapon, and says fiercely. "I. Gentle. You!"
Then bursts out laughing.
Princess likes to jump up on the hot water heater in our bathroom. Dreamer today stood below her saying, "Kitty, get down. Living room. Come on!" and other encouragements to lure Princess.
It didn't work.
Ryan and I hug.
Me: Yes! I *will* hug your Daddy. Do you know who my favorite guy is?
Dreamer: Dada! (what she calls my father in law)
Me: No, Daddy!
Dreamer: No Dada!
Me: No, my favorite guy is Daddy! What about you?
Dreamer: Uhh... Daddy, Dada, and Bopa (what she calls my dad)
Me: Aw, that's good. You should love all three of them.
There's a lizard on the wall. Dreamer is trying to convince him to come down by talking and gesturing.
"Come ON! Down! (Mumble mumble) Mommy. (Mumble mumble) Daddy. Out! Come ON!" All this is said looking pleadingly at the lizard and gesturing down, towards me, towards the balcony door. Basically convincing him to come down, meet Mommy and Daddy and we can all go out.
Then she turns to me with big longing eyes and says "Cuuuuuuuuute." Yes, sweetie. Lizards are cute. He's still not coming down (and if he did the cats would kill him, but I am not telling her that if I can help it.)
You know those photos that go around with toddlers crying and the reasons why? Here's mine:
Because I won't fasten my bra around her bottom.
I watch Dreamer just outright let go of a bottle of water with no top so it spills across the bed.
"No!" I scold her. "You spilled!"
"Bed did it!" she protests, pointing at the bed. "Bed did it!"
I'm not buying it, baby girl. Points for creativity. Interesting you've entered the blaming others stage...
Dreamer just saw herself in the mirror:
Spinning around towards me, grinning ear to ear, pointing at the mirror, "I cute baby!"
"YES YOU ARE."
Dreamer's declaration to me when I emerge from the shower, which she very well knew I was in considering she'd been coming in and out to see me during it:
"There you are, my baby, there you are!"
I have a scratch on my leg. Dreamer sees it.
"Daddy bit you?"
I burst out laughing.
"NO! Daddy didn't bite me. It's a scratch."
"Oh." She wanders off, bored.
"Sit down! Mommy sit down! [Dreamer] sit down," Dreamer demonstrates and sits on the floor. Points to the floor next to her. "Mommy sit down."
"Mommy IS sitting down," I say, pointing to the stool beneath me. "You want Mommy to sit on the floor?"
"Mommy sit down!" she points.
"But why? Is it so you can cuddle Mommy?"
"Then why? So you can kiss Mommy?"
"Is it so you can steal Mommy's chair?"
"YEAH!" she exclaims brightly with a huge smile.
Dreamer is watching Frozen, I'm mentally not paying attention. She is saying something to me. I tune in and realize: "You want me to sing?"
"You want Mommy to sing?!? You like when Mommy sings?!!!"
"Yeahhh like Mommy sing."
"You have no idea how happy that makes Mommy, that you like when Mommy sings!"
So I restart "For the First Time in Forever" and belt happily with Dreamer enjoying it, and chiming in at times.
My heart is happy.
Dreamer clawed Ryan in the face. We force her to apologize.
"I dorry," she says giving Ryan a hug.
"Are you going to hurt Daddy again?"
"Yeah, again!" she says cheerfully.
Ryan and I can't help it, we laugh.
"I funny??!!" she says excitedly.
Dreamer spots a laser on the shelf, from her perch on my hip.
"You want to play with the kitties?"
"Okay, but only Mommy can hold it, okay?"
"Okay!" I turn it on in front of Vex the cat.
I set Dreamer down. Vex darts at the red dot. She laughs. "Funny! Funny!"
Then she starts chasing the red dot too! While peals of giggles ring out she and Vex both go after the red dot. Princess hangs back but when I bring it closer to her she flicks her paw a few times. Everyone is having fun...
Until Dreamer starts shrieking loudly and flinging herself wildly at the red dot.
Vex and Princess run under the bed to hide.
Dreamer keeps playing and laughing for another minute or so, then suddenly looks around, crestfallen.
"Vex? Princess?" she wails.
"They're under the bed."
She goes into the bedroom and starts sobbing. "VEX! PRINCESS!"
"They're under the bed, honey."
She wails, gesturing to the top of the bed. I bend over and point. "UNDER the bed."
She gets on her knees and looks. "VEX!" she says, relieved. I put the red dot near the edge to try to lure one out, but she starts shrieking and trying to stomp on it. I go around to the other side of the bed and shine the dot just under it. After about thirty seconds, Vex darts out in a sudden burst.
"Vex!" I declare, to draw Dreamer's attention.
"FUNNY!" she screams and runs towards him. He startles and darts behind the hamper. Dreamer goes after the red dot until he starts playing too, and then I draw them out to the living room. Princess eventually emerges too.
I had no idea that red dots aren't just good cat fun but toddler fun too. Dreamer especially loved when I shined the dot on her out stretched hand, but turned the light off before she drew it in close enough to see detail. She also had fun jumping at the curtain when that darn red dot settled just two or three inches above the highest her hand could reach.
"Dared! I dared!"
"Aw, come here." I stretch out my arms for a hug and Dreamer runs in. "Why are you scared? Don't be scared, Mommy's here. Mommy'll take care of you. Did you know Mommy loves you most?"
"Daddy loves me most."
Well then. Buahaha.
Dreamer starts crying in her sleep.
"Shoes! Can you give them to me... " she trails off and settles into deeper sleep.
I swear, every time this child talks in her sleep it's about shoes!!
"Ow," says Dreamer. She's rubbing her nose, which is reddening on the right side. Something is clasped in her right hand.
"What did you do? What's in your hand?"
She opens to reveal a crayon.
"Did you just try to stick that crayon up your nose?"
"Yeah!" this is said ruefully.
"Well don't do that! That hurts!"
Ladies and gentlemen, she's definitely a toddler.
"Up! Up!" Dreamer tugs at my elbow.
"You want Mommy to pick you up?"
"I wanna be in Mommy's arms."
Who can say no to that??!
Dreamer is enthusiastically eating a banana.
"That is hitting the spot, huh?" I ask.
"NO, it's a banana!"
"No, I know it's a banana. But 'hitting the spot' means it tastes really good, right?"
"No, it's NANA."
"No, I know, but the banana tastes good, right?"
With a cocked head and a "duh" expression, "Yeahhh."
Dreamer is waking up from a nap. She smiles large, laughs, and says, "meow meow." Then laughs again.
"You dreamed about cats?"
With a dreamy smile, "Yeah."